This post deals with pregnancy loss and may be triggering for some readers.
As I write this, I am firmly wedged in the space between learning that the pregnancy isn’t viable, yet waiting on the hospital visit to have the embryo removed from my body. It sucks.
Not as much as the first time around, but still... universally acknowledged as not a great time.
Watch: A tribute to the babies we've lost. Post continues below.
I am getting better at processing my grief each time and slowly learning that talking about it actually helps.
It’s also prompted me to consider why it isn't generally acceptable to talk about miscarriage at work. What's sitting behind the silence? Is it the shame and stigma sometimes associated with miscarriage? And is this part of the reason people tend to wait till 12 weeks before they announce their pregnancies at all?
When is the right time to tell your boss you’re pregnant?
Who you tell your pregnancy news to, and at what point, is an intensely personal decision.
I’m not suggesting there is a right or wrong, and have found it usually depends on the relationships and the context.
For me, my immediate family got the pregnancy news before the pee had even dried on the stick.
I train in Muay Thai, so was in the unusual position of telling my training buddies not long after so they knew why I was modifying my pad-holding technique, and so I could kindly ask them not to punch me in the stomach when sparring.
The more curious question for me was when I would tell my colleagues at work.
I was interested in other people’s experiences telling their colleagues, so I asked our amazing parents' group at my workplace, South East Water, when they shared their news and why.
I wanted to get a handle on what our culture is like when it comes to sharing personal news like this, and what those individual mums and dads considered before making that decision for themselves.