Trigger warning: This post contains details of depression, and may be triggering for some readers.
At first glance, the tattoo seems like any other.
“I’m fine,” it says simply.
But to the person who looks down at it every day, the tattoo tells a completely different story.
“Save me,” it says.
Bekah Miles decided to get the powerful tattoo after suffering from depression for over a year.
After uploading a photo of it to her Facebook page a week ago, it has already been shared and liked over 300,000 times.
The caption to her Facebook image reads:
(Dear mom and dad, please don’t kill me over this permanent choice. I want you to hear me out.)
Today, I am coming out with something that only few of you know. I am ready to have a conversation about my mental illness.
Last year, I was diagnosed with depression. And in all honesty, I believe it was a problem for quite a while before that, but I think it just got worse to the point of hardly functioning.
So today, I got this tattoo. I feel that my leg was the best place for the meaning behind it. When everyone else sees it, they see “I’m fine,” but from my viewpoint, it reads “save me.” To me, it means that others see this person that seems okay, but, in reality, is not okay at all. It reminds me that people who may appear happy, may be at battle with themselves.
To me, depression is the days that I feel sad for no reason.
Depression is the mornings that I don’t feel capable of getting out of bed.
Depression is the sleeping too much, or sleeping too little.
Depression is the homework that I never completed, simply because I didn’t feel like I was capable.
Depression is the break downs I have over absolutely nothing.
Depression is the eating too much, or eating too little.
Depression is the nights I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed, even though everything is going right.
Depression is the 50 pounds I carry in my chest at all times.
Depression is the need to constantly be distracted (being on social media, playing video games, watching movies or shows, or working all the time) because I can’t trust myself with my thoughts for longer than 3 minutes.
Depression is the friendships that have suffered because of my inability to function.
Depression is the hurtful thoughts and actions I have towards myself.
Depression is the tears I have because I don’t know why I feel so worthless, when I know I should feel happy.This is one of the most difficult things to open up about because it’s extremely hard for me to feel vulnerable… but this needs to be talked about. Mental illness is serious, but so shamed in our society. We care so much for our physical health, but hardly a thing about our mental state. And that is seriously messed up. Mental illness is not a choice and will likely hit everyone at some point in their life. If it’s such a huge issue, why aren’t we having this conversation about it?
That’s why I got this tattoo; they are great conversation starters. This forces me to talk about my own struggle, and why the awareness of it is important. You’d be surprised by how many people YOU know that struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. I may only be one person, but one can save another… and that’s all I could really ask for.
Maybe this is part of why I am so interested in psychology. I want to help people who feel the way I have — and still do — because it’s hell. And I don’t wish that upon anyone.
“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
—Robin Williams**Also, THANK YOU to the ones who have helped me in this battle. I would not be where I am without you.**
It’s an incredibly important, and incredibly powerful message, one that takes enormous courage to talk about, let alone share with hundreds of thousands of people.
We hope that Bekah continues to receive the support she needs, and that this tattoo can in turn help those who suffer from depression.
If this post brings up issues for you, or you just need someone to talk to, please call Lifeline on 131 114. You can also visit the Lifeline website here and the Beyond Blue website here.
Top Comments
I understand the move. Depression feels permanent. You are in a dark cupboard - well, like I used to be when I was a teen. She felt it could not shift, she could not see light again. I understand the move. I like tattoos very much, and what they say of the person. I don't have any, only because I cannot put into brief terms what I will to express/state. When I can, I will.
Why would you want to mark yourself life that. If you beat depression it would be an everyday reminder of what you once struggled with. Why would you want to focus on that. I have battled with depression and appreciate every day that I have been without it and I certainly don't like to be reminded of how I once felt. Depression doesn't own you and you shouldn't let it mark you for life.
That's your opinion. I would personally, I too suffer from depression and I have a semicolon tattoo. For me its a reminder that I am braver and stronger then I ever thought possible. That I haven't given up, and it makes me feel as though that despite the suffering, I am a better person. If you have had depression, do not judge her, or question her choices. She has a different outlook to you, but that doesn't mean you can't try to understand.
Everyone's journey is different. Some of us like a reminder to show us how much we have overcome- its a sign of how strong we are. I've turned my struggles into something positive. Judging each other improves no one.
For someone who says they battled depression you are being very judgmental of others with depression. You may have won the battle, but in many cases the depression comes back or never leaves. Her body, her choice. There are others who have tattoos for other reasons such as cancer survivors.
"Depression doesn't own you and you shouldn't let it mark you for life"
Gee, that almost sounds like victim blaming because someone else's experience is different to yours.
For many of us depression does "own" us and does mark us for life. That doesn't make us any better or worse than people like you who manage to get over it and it doesn't mean we choose to allow it to almost destroy us. Having a reminder of how bad things were makes me appreciate how much better things are today.