Attending a friend’s wedding is no cheap affair. Once you factor in the cost of a present, your outfit, Uber fares and the morning-after Gatorades, you’ve basically spent enough money to buy a one-bedroom apartment at Sydney’s Bondi Beach.
But now there’s an additional cost that brides and grooms are demanding their guests pay, and it’s making our heads spin.
“How many of you have paid for your meal at a wedding?” an angry Redditor has asked the internet, explaining: “My girlfriend and I are expected to pay $80 to 100 each for our meals at an upcoming wedding, the bride says its an ‘unspoken tradition’.” (Post continues after gallery.)
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Woah woah woah woah WOAH – we’re expected to pay for our own meals now? REALLY?
“I’ve been to a few weddings and never heard of such nonsense,” he continued.
“I asked my uncle and he said that was ridiculous, but the bride’s family insists that it’s a tradition and that’s how it’s supposed to go. I’ve never paid to go to a wedding reception and I’m definitely not about to start.
“We’re just gonna get a gift and leave it at that. If we have to pay for a meal, I’m sure there’s a McDonald’s nearby.”
Yikes. Pal, I don’t blame you. LISTEN: Mamamia Out Loud on wedding regrets. (Post continues below.)
Unsurprisingly, the forum quickly erupted with debate as to whether this is an acceptable expectation or not.
“Hell no. You feed me, I give you a bread maker. That’s the tradition,” wrote one commenter, receiving thousands of thumbs up. Another: “I’d politely decline to attend.”
“That’s called ‘we planned a wedding but ran out of money’,” a third person jumped in.
“They are passing the bill along to their guests. I wouldn’t even show up for the wedding if one of my friends pulled that shit.”
But others weren’t so sure.
“I wanted to do something like this, but with desserts. My mum said everyone would be offended and not want to do it :(,” one Redditor wrote.
“I’m trying to give the bride the benefit of the doubt here,” MagicBob wrote.
“The general tradition for being invited to a wedding is that your gift to the couple is roughly equal to or greater than the cost of your meal. That is the ‘unspoken tradition’ that the bride is talking about.”
Another possibility was also raised, that perhaps the bride and groom have a different culture to the majority of their guests.
“Here in Quebec I’ve payed for my own dinner at the last four weddings I’ve been to,” another person offered, asking: “Maybe it’s a cultural thing?”
“I was told it’s getting more and more common, and it is around here at least.”
Do you think it’s okay to ask for guests to pay for their meals at a wedding?
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Top Comments
When did all this sort of thing start? For my wedding and others in our family, we worked within our budget so that we could have a wonderful day with family and friends. We kept all arrangements within budget and made decisions not to include certain things for ourselves. My MIL made our cake so we asked them not to give us a gift. Its not hard...stick to your budget and you can still have a lovely day without being a weirdo!!!
This seems to be against the consensus but I think you should stop judging the bride so harshly. Dare I say it, but any wedding guest who doesn't have the heart to help a young couple just shouldn't go. Have you ever tried to cut down a guest list? By the time you 'do the right thing' by your large family a small or modest budget is gone and the sacrifices you have to make are usually the people you want there. If one of my friends, who I cared for, needed guests to help cover the highly jacked up prices of a wedding dinner, I wouldn't hesistate - yet alone whinge about it in a public forum.
Just out of interest, if you paid for the meal, would you put money in the well also or take a gif? I liked your reasoning and point of view, v logical.
If the budget is modest and the family large, then why not just have a picnic or BBQ at the beach, or just make it an afternoon tea wedding, I'd rather do that than ask the guests to pay.