A pregnant woman is shocked by her partner’s deeply “selfish” financial demand while she was on maternity leave.
“He would like me to continue to contribute half towards the mortgage and bills while on maternity leave.”
After posting these words to an online parenting forum, a UK mother has sparked the anger of more than a hundred people.
Sharing her plight on Mumsnet, the woman asked if she was unreasonable in thinking her partner was being unfair for requesting she still contribute 50 per cent to pay the mortgage and bills while on maternity leave.
“To do so I will need to use a redundancy pay out that I was given during the first stages of pregnancy,” she wrote.
Meanwhile, her partner “earns a very high wage”.
The partner in question was branded a “selfish, penny-pinching bastard” by many of the women responding in the comments.
"Is the baby not his then? This makes no sense whatsoever to me," one user wrote.
"You're on maternity leave because your having his child and he wants you to continue to pay half the bills.
"Whose going to pay for childcare when you return to work?"
Another questioned whether the man viewed their relationship as "family or flatmates".
"It's a partnership," she wrote.
"I can't imagine living with someone who insisted I put myself into a financially compromised position while I was pregnant with their child!" shared another.
An HR Manager answers every maternity leave question we have, on our podcast for new parents. Post continues after.
Others joked the woman should start charging her partner for having to carry his baby, or charge him childcare for staying home to care for the baby in the first few months.
"Since you will still be employed, but in the home instead of the workplace, will you start charging him for half the childcare you are providing?" one user responded.
"He's being an arse. I'd say he needs to reevaluate what is a 'fair' split, although I never did understand the separate finances thing."
But some women said the situation wasn't unusual, and said they still continued splitting bills evenly after welcoming a baby.
"I'm still paying 50/50 but that is my choice," one woman wrote.
"I'm the higher earner anyway so I saved pre-pregnancy to help cover what I need. If I can't manage though, my [husband] will pick up the rest."
Others said that while they used to split bills evenly, things changed and shifted during maternity leave.
"I just don't get 50/50 finances when pregnancy / children and childcare come into the mix," one person wrote.
"It just does not work."
"Both times I have been on mat leave I have contributed 25 per cent and my husband 75 per cent for the nine to twelve months," shared another.
What do you think?
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Top Comments
Well then I'd be charging him by the hour for carrying the baby (did he pay half of all medical costs while pregnant? If not, backcharge those too) then invoice him for you providing childcare while he is at work. Oh, and don't forget to bill him for all of the cooking, cleaning etc... that you do. I think you'll find he changes his mind.
It's such a red flag. Not that each partner shouldn't generally be expected to pay their way generally, but what about the idea of supporting the person who is growing your child that you presumably want and will be responsible for? She needs to keep a very accurate cost-accounting of childcare and petrol and any associated costs and make sure he pays his half down the middle (not forgetting any VAT and taxes!). Take an average of whatever childcare costs in the area and charge him that per hour (or half, since she's responsible for 50%), and insist categorically that he shells out by the 1st of each month.