It’s pretty simple. This is where my problem begins.
Halloween: An event held on October 31, celebrated by children going door to door while wearing costumes, begging for treats and playing pranks.
What? Everyone’s okay with this?
I truly think Halloween is the most bizarre, confusing and ridiculous festival. And this is why:
1. Knock-knock …
I’m BAFFLED. Seriously. I believe I may have spent about an eighth of my life telling my children, “Don’t talk to strangers”.
And yet, HERE WE ARE!
Walking the streets at twilight, knocking on doors, yelling slogans in people’s faces and eagerly awaiting a treat? Call me a grinch, but my old-fashioned brain is struggling to connect the dots. Trust me, I want to be with you. I love a party, I love people, I love treats. But I’m lost.
I have three small kids. Sometimes (most of the time) I have no control over where they go. They wander into houses, down lanes, across streets, they wash their hands in dog bowls out the front of cafes, they pick up snails, they walk in dog poo, they stop to watch ants crawling up fences.
Walking along a footpath with young children isn’t for the hungover or the disinterested. They are wanderers. It’s like herding hungry goats. So, understandably, I have created ONE rule.
Stick with me — and don’t leave the footpath.
If I bring in a footnote to this rule — such as except on Halloween, when you can walk into people’s homes and knock on their doors — I fear my children will either become very confused or very early adopters of Knock ‘n Run.
2. Treats!
Easter. Birthdays. Christmas. Birthdays. Weddings. Birthdays. Retirement party for Nanna. Birthdays.
My kids get enough treats. I’m surprised their toes haven’t turned multi-coloured from the amount of Smarties they’ve eaten.
So, why, oh, why do I need to teach them they can get EXTRA treats if they knock on strangers’ doors and beg?
Recently, I took my four-year-old son to the park. While we were there, he made a little friend who was about the same age. They ran around together, made dirt pies and taught each other wonderful phrases like ‘bum-bum’ and ‘poo-poo-head’. In other words, he had a fabulous time. As we were leaving, my son’s friend’s grandmother (and carer while we were at the park) offered my son a lolly. He asked me if he could have it. I told him he couldn’t but we’d buy a lolly on the way home. Happy days.
Am I the most boring mum on the planet? Nope. Just a safe one. If it’s okay to take lollies from one person, how does he know it’s not okay to take lollies from the next person? A person who might not be quite as lovely?
3. Trick or treat?
“Hey kids, if this stranger who you randomly selected to annoy doesn’t give you treats, THROW AN EGG AT THEIR HOUSE. Rock on!” said no normal parent ever. Surely. This can never be unsaid.
So, how is this any different to when we were kids?
This.
I remember playing pranks when I was a kid and I certainly remember other kids playing pranks on Halloween night. When I was in primary school, a bunch of boys got busted for pranking an unenthusiastic Halloween participant. They wrote LOSER in lipstick on his driveway. Eek. The boys were suspended, blah blah blah.
These days, the whole Halloween night is under tight surveillance by helicopter parents. Actual parents.
Walking children from house to house, waiting outside front gates. Now, if your child is old enough to get the premise of Halloween — trick or treat — isn’t that sending a message to them that you condone that whole idea. You support ‘trick or treat’?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But the ‘trick or treat’ lesson won’t be happening on my watch.
4. Creepy costumes…
I’ll be taking Queen Elsa over the Wicked Witch any day. That’s all.
I can’t believe I’m bagging a celebration, but honestly — I just don’t get Halloween.
Take a look at some celebrities with their Halloween costumes (post continues after post):
I don’t get the celebration.
I don’t get the pumpkins.
I don’t get the creepy, ghosty stuff.
I don’t get the concept. It’s the antithesis of everything I tell my kids NOT to do.
Oh Halloween, you certainly are the devil.
What do you think of Halloween? How will you and your children be celebrating?
Top Comments
Halloween is exactly as you described it in the beginning of your piece, it is a festival- and a fun one at that! I concur with Ellie, Halloween is a great way to bring the community together and to get creative. Last Halloween, a group of children in the neighborhood made little trick-or-treat bags for others in the neighborhood, whilst another mother and her child set up a puzzle for trick-or-treaters in their driveway. I also met some really sweet elderly couples who adored being visited by trick-or-treaters and really appreciated the company, even if it was only for a brief period of time. And again, if someone doesn't have any decorations, it's just a basic rule of decency that you steer clear of their house. Any respectful parent would abide by that standard and it isn't a difficult message to impart onto one's children.
And if you are concerned regarding the whereabouts of your children whilst they are trick-or-treating, then perhaps go with them, or if you are otherwise occupied, see if there is a trusted family-friend or neighbor that might be trick-or-treating with their children that could accompany them. There was a group of children in my neighborhood having a wonderful time as their parents walked with them and talked. Concerns of safety are always valid, especially when in regard to children and strangers, but there is an abundance of ways to ensure that your children have a fantastic time whilst also not breaching their safety. I mean, do you oppose Christmas because it teaches your children to sit on an old man's lap and accept candy he leaves in your over-sized sock? Is Easter out of the question too because the Easter Bunny could have rabies for all we know?
And whilst the "trick-or-treat" phrase may be confusing for the younger children, if your child is mature enough to understand that it is inappropriate to egg a house over not getting a Milky Way, then what is the harm in taking them out to have some fun? And honestly, blaming a long-standing tradition for poor behavior seems like an equally poor cop-out to me. If your child is the type of person who would vandalize someone's house because they missed out on a handful of gummy worms, then that seems like an issue bigger than a holiday, Ms Warren.
Also, Halloween does not necessarily have to be scary. Sure, that's where the elements of the holiday are rooted (who else loves annually binging on all of the classics, like "The Nightmare Before Christmas" or "Hocus Pocus"), but there is nothing stopping your children from dressing up as a character from their favorite cartoon. You complain of the abundance of sugar Halloween drops into the laps of eagerly-awaiting children, but how is it different to the plethora of chocolate eggs on Easter, or the fattening sausages on Australia Day or the sugary frosting on the processed and packaged pudding on Christmas Day? Halloween is a great way to teach your children about eating in moderation. Many candies people hand out will be packaged and preserved anyway, so why not take that fun-sized Skittles bag and save it for a day when they've earned a special treat? They would hardly feel any worse if you did this than they would if you completely deprived them from participating in a holiday because of paper-thin excuses. Alternatively, mini-boxes of raisins or sultanas are high in natural sugar and would be a great way of introducing healthier alternatives to a cloyingly sweet holiday.
If I may, Ms Warren, it seems that you are true "helicopter parent" here. If you are smothering your children in bubble-wrap to save them from, God forbid, a sweet old lady whom both you and your son have met, then it seems that you are the helicopter parent, not anyone else enjoying a fun night in the warm October air dressed as a Harry Potter character. It's important to teach your children to be safe and take care of themselves, yes, but not to the point where we cannot indulge in a single night of kid-friendly, sugar-fueled merriment.
Love halloween! Think you are totally missing the point. My neighbourhood all agrees that if you don't want to participate, don't turn your frount light on. For us it's a really friendly vibe, almost like a street party. The kids get some excitement, the parents get a walk and a chat, and you can meet new neighbours. We even go to the nursing home and the oldies love seeing the kids in their costumes. Anything that brings our community together is a good thing, I reckon. As for the writer not accepting a lolly from a grandma, I think that seems plain paranoid and rude. What's important is that her child checked with her first. I believe the good folk among us far outweigh the bogey man. Safety education is one thing, but have you thought about what negative effects you're passing onto children by making them afraid of the world? A positive world view makes for healthier, happier, more compassionate, more community-minded kids. Happy Halloween everyone! P.S. bush did 9/11