Russell pls.
This is weird.
But it’s also the single greatest thing to ever happen to the human race.
You see, over the weekend our very own Rabbitoh Gladiator Russell Crowe held a lil’ divorce auction in Sydney.
Yep, a divorce auction. That’s a thing now.
Up for grabs was a bunch of stuff people never knew they needed… but definitely do need because costume parties.
Like the leather jock strap Rusty wore in Cinderella Man and two life-size horse props that would make the perfect low-key gift for the next person who tells you not to ‘bring a thing’ to their casual Sunday BBQ.
Anywho, here’s a breakdown of all the crazy sh*t you could have purchased over the weekend.
1. A life size prop horse used in Gladiator.
Like I said, it's the perfect subtle gift. It's also different and unusual and I like it.
2. Another horse.
This is a spare horse in case you misplace the first one.
3. A fully functioning replica Roman chariot from Gladiator.
A chariot for said horses. It's also very handy for pulling your mates home from the pub.
4. Literally Robin's Hood.
You could spend hours treatin' your colleagues to classic Robin Hood reenactments with this bad boy.
5. And his chain mail.
Susan from accounting will love it when you put on the full costume after lunch on a Friday.
6. A motherflippin' dinosaur skull.
The international sign for a "I have too much money and not enough dinosaurs".
7. Rusty's jock strap.
This is the jock strap Rusty wore in Cinderella Man. It feels... sweaty... leathery... and intimate.
8. His wedding car.
Um, here's the divorce bit. This is the actual car Russell and his ex-wife, Danielle Spencer, used at their 2003 wedding.
I feel like the interiors would smell very rich but also a bit sad and divorce-y.
9. Some very racist boots.
Rusty also sold the Doc Martins he wore in Romper Stomper. They're very 90s and also come with a side of brutal racism.
10. The Silver Brumby outfit.
The perfect get up for when you're visiting your friend from the country.
11. A pair of duelling pistols.
These 18th century duelling pistols sold for $26,000.
Um... tell him he's dreamin'?
12. Rusty's fancy Gladiator vest thingy.
This is the cuirass Russell wore in Gladiator when his character died.
It's very sad but it's also perfect for a casual night in da club.
13. And the matching wrist cuffs.
These matching wrist cuffs will help you cut sick on the dance floor.
14. Captain Jack Aubrey's outfit.
Next time your friend invites you for a tinnie in their, erm, tinnie, you could wear this.
15. The back of Denzel Washington's seat.
I don't know how Denzel got caught up in all this but here's the back of his seat.
It could probably double up as a handy boob tube.