Here’s an interesting one: at what age can a child understand what the people around them are saying? And in addition to that, at what age can they interpret tone?
A new mum has taken to Reddit to share a dilemma she has about her five-month-old son being fed messages she does not approve of that are laced, she says, with sarcasm. The user
The user runbabyrun_21, explains that her mother-in-law has been making comments about runbabyrun_21‘s husband – her own son – to her newborn grandson.
“[She] makes comments to the baby in a teasing/joking manner about my husband. For example: ‘I’m sorry, I did everything I could, he’s your problem now.'”
She goes on to explain she has caught it happening twice now and that she is desperate to bring it up but fears “starting a war between [them]”.
“I’m a straight forward person (I call it as I see it) and this isn’t always the best tactic,” she adds.
Interestingly, she says her husband doesn’t have a problem with the comments, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t.
LISTEN: The mother of five who pulled her family out of poverty. (Post continues…)
“I don’t want my child being raised to think that sarcastic comments are how we show love. It’s undermining and disrespectful. I realise the baby doesn’t understand the comments, but I’m hoping to stop a habit before she gets to an age where she does understand (kids take comments literally),” she says.
In response, a slew of comments suggested that perhaps the comments carried no ill-intent and that maybe it’s a matter of context.
"If the sarcastic comments are meant as loving teasing and not actual digs at your husband, I think you should find a way to let it go. Sarcasm is pervasive and you'd be surprised how quickly kids pick up on it," one user said.
"If your husband doesn't have a problem with it, neither should you. It sounds like the comments are light-hearted and I wouldn't read too much into them," another concurred.
An overriding theme of the advice-laden comments was the idea that it is totally dependent on her husband's relationship with his family.
"It really depends on the context. Does your husband have a healthy, loving relationship with his family?" one asked.
It seems when this question has an answer, the solution to runbabyrun_21's predicament will emerge.
Top Comments
Talk to your husband. Then let him talk to his mother. It was about him after all.
I have a similar situation with my parents in law. I have no doubt that they love their son, but they tend to go overboard with the digs about his troublesome youth (he was troubled in his teens and twenties, there is no doubt and i can imagine I caused his parents many sleepless nights worrying, but that was twenty years ago now. He has grown up and sorted his shit out and is an incredible father, husband and excels at a career he worked very hard at. They should be proud). They just can't seem to ever let him live it down that he once was the 'family shame'. When we found out this pregnancy we are having a boy they spent a good ten minutes lamenting about how he will be just like his father and how will the world handle it. I gave them that first ten minutes for free. Then next time they made such comments I just calmly interjected that if our son turns out anything like his dad I will be thrilled to peices because it means he will be a resilient, independent, intelligent, hard working, kind, loyal, loving husband and father and I couldn't ask for anything more. They haven't made another comment like that to me again.