I recently watched The Hunting Ground, a documentary about rape culture in American colleges and universities. I may be bit late to the party, but it hit me right in the feels. I was so sad for the victims, so disgusted by the system, and quite frankly terrified; but not for the reason you might imagine.
I watched it with my eight week old son in my arms and I wept. For them, but mostly for him. I was terrified of the responsibility we have as his parents to raise a man, a good man.
I'm scared, scared that he'll look to world leaders, only see men and think that only men are fit to lead.
Scared he'll get a job and have male bosses, executives and CEOs and think only men are suited for power.
Scared he'll have a female boss and think it's a novelty or token and when she acts like a boss should act, she'll be a bitch or a slut.
Scared he'll watch TV, see billboards and magazines with sexy, young props of women and think that's what women are.
Scared his school won't have an informative and realistic sex education, so he'll learn from porn and he'll be disgusted when girls aren’t fully shaved or squeal or bend to every depravity you can imagine on screen.
Scared he'll constantly hear things like "you throw like a girl," or "man up," and these will become his own thoughts and gender stereotypes without consciously making it so.
Scared that society shames sexual women and normalises harassment.
Scared that humour masks sexism and one day he'll be that guy saying “have you been down under,” without a second thought.
Scared that feelings and emotions are branded feminine and he'll be forced to suppress them, living a half truth of himself.
Scared his gender will give him a privilege he won't ever understand so things like pay inequality, gender bias and sexism won't register unless we show him.
#WhenIWas - Women share experiences of sexual violence on Twitter. Post continues after video.
Scared that that privilege will make him feel entitled. Entitled to things, entitled to money, entitled to jobs and maybe even entitled to a woman’s body.
So I'm terrified and overwhelmed, that my beautiful boy will become a man in this world built for men.
I come from a world of strong, courageous, queen-loving men who are not these things. My grandfather, my father and my husband are the kind of men I hope he will become, but how?
Is it our sole responsibility as parents to teach him? Is the world changing quickly enough for him to have role models and examples of equality and respect in all aspects of life, or is the world just one big hunting ground?
Top Comments
Sheesh......poor kid....no pressure there.
How sad to be a boy raised by a mum with such low expectations or respect for men.....good luck little man.....oops not supposed to call them that either!!!!
It's not hard to be a proper human being and respect women. A good parent puts pressure on their kid to be a good human.
Not all men, but enough men have acted this way to all women to make it an issue.
Last night at work, an old man kept calling me "girl" instead of my name, even after I told him what my name was. Funnily enough, he didn't call my male manager "boy".
how about 'and respect people' instead of just women. I hope you recover from your horrible traumatic experience being called girl by one random man. Must have been terrible. Men huh.
How about you stop trying to diminish women's experiences and trying to make it about men? Stop trying to normalise disrespect towards women.
I hope that one day you can feel empathy for people and understand that just because it didn't happen to you, that it doesn't happen at all.
BTW, the bloke finally learnt my name after I called him "old fart".
Amazing that the suggestion to respect all, not simply women, can invoke such an aggressive response. So much for the so called equality that feminism seeks.
One thing that troubles me about this post is the automatic assumption the sons need fixing since it is assumed they are naturally inclined towards being anti social and they need special training even as infants to learn not to be anti social.
Surely as a parent, a boy or a girl raised to respect others is the same regardless of gender.