opinion

"You stupid black woman": My repulsive encounter in a suburban car park.

 

The scene was perfectly predictable. Mid morning, mid week in the carpark of a small shopping centre near our house, a snapshot of suburban life. A sunny and slow Sydney day.

I’d loaded the groceries in, clicked my baby into her carseat and was in the process of collapsing the pram to load in the boot, when I noticed a woman waiting for my park. The driver of the shiny black BMW was in her fifties, possibly her sixties, with immaculately coiffed blonde hair and a string of pearls around her neck. She looked like a genteel cliche.

She was anything but.

“Go around me you stupid black woman” I heard. I was so shocked, I immediately turned around. These ugly words had indeed been spat out of the mouth of the BMW driver. There was a scowl on her face as she signalled to the woman, waiting perfectly patiently, behind her.

I heard it because the window of her BMW was down and I was standing less than a metre from her car.

I am quite sure the second driver, a middle aged Asian woman, didn't hear it, small mercy, because her car windows were closed and she seemed completely non-plussed, chatting to the teenager sitting in her passenger seat.

My heart was racing. I was shocked and disgusted. Had I heard right? Surely not, I tried to convince myself.

But I did hear right and I was at a loss as to what to do.

Confront her? Report her? To whom?

It was repulsive to encounter: pure unadulterated racism. The car park wasn't busy, the waiting driver wasn't on her horn, there was no obvious trigger for the outburst.

At a loss, I glared at her before closing the boot and driving away.

I spent the rest of the day trying to process it. Who speaks like that? The contrast between this woman's perfectly polished exterior and the vulgar interior that her language revealed was stark.

Watch: Stan Grant on racism in Australia. Post continues after video.

I am not naive. I didn’t need to witness this episode to realise that racism in Australia is alive and well. I know it is. But I hadn’t ever witnessed it quite like this.

It was so casual and so ugly and it made my blood run hot and cold.

Hot in anger: Who does she think she is? What causes a person to speak to a stranger like that? Cold in fear: this is the picture of bigotry and it is close to home. Literally.

If this woman, in a quiet old Sydney suburb, seemingly unaffected by life’s cruelest vicissitudes, has that vitriol to discharge at the ready, to a perfect stranger, with no obvious trigger, what hope is there?

Had I not been fumbling to collapse the pram her vile intolerance would have remained invisible to me. But it would still exist. It does exist. It’s simmering barely beneath the surface and it’s frightening.

Particularly now. In the aftermath of 53 innocent men and women being gunned down in Orlando. In the days following a virtuous, young and committed British MP and mum being shot and stabbed to death in public. At a time when Donald Trump is likely to be the Republican’s presidential nominee. These things compounded my despair in the carpark.

In some ways they are worlds apart, but in others they’re not. Intolerance and bigotry are the common threads that weave between these people and incidents and we know, all too well, the damage they’re capable of inflicting.

So, yes, I witnessed an ugly display from just one woman but in the week that was it felt much bigger than that. It felt horribly prescient and symbolic.

The question I had - then and now - is the same. What to do?

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Top Comments

Really? 8 years ago

Report what exactly? The black bmw driver may indeed be a racist, however, she did nothing other than to vent her frustrations to HERSELF in the confines of her vehicle. She did not approach the other driver nor did she discriminate against the driver. Writing articles about not having done something for which there was nothing to intervene about only lessens the plight of real discrimination. Now, have we fixed the aboriginal housing crisis?

the other anon 8 years ago

The point of the article wasn't about whether or not to report & to whom it was about the vehemence & that that kind of strong racism is alive & well. That despite recent & ongoing events that people still feel that way & things aren't changing as fast as we hoped - it actually all ties into things such as the housing crisis like you mentioned!

Really? 8 years ago

Strong racism? It was ugly but it is a reflection of the person who holds those PERSONAL views. You can hold those ugly views but if you never act upon them: blocked the parking so that a white driver got it; refused to serve 'stupid black womem'; or ACTED in any other DISCRIMANTORY manner or if the person in question holds a position of power then you might have an argument. As it stands, while we are prosecuting non-cases of racisim to be seen to care or be doing something about what essentally is nothing, real discrimination, such as the black women in detention, runs rampant. Oh, and we also give the 'stupid white menz' more ammunition to present their woes and how they have been wronged. See below comments for examples of the level of mentality articles like this elicit. How many 'white f*cking c*nts' are in detention?


SS 8 years ago

Try being a woman of darker skin living in Sydney. Casual racism is the norm. Here are a few of the gems I've experienced.

"All you ethnic people are just the same, illiterate"

"If your skin is black, why are your palms white?"

"You're (my ethnicity)? How did you get into this degree? Aren't all (people of my ethnicity) stupid?"

"Walk faster you dumb wog" (I'm mixed race Pacific Islander).

"You @:!:&/!@.! Black :$,@.!?)-&"

"With a surname like yours, it's no wonder you're working in retail. It's because you're dumb and won't ever become anything" (I was a uni student at the time, 8 years later I'm a health professional with a Bachelors, Masters and am doing my doctorate)

guest 8 years ago

My mind just boggles that people would say such hateful things.....what is wrong with people?

Linda 8 years ago

I am so sorry you go through that. I am a pacific islander too but I was raised in Australia from the age of 4. When I was a kid I was subjected to racist name calling. Kids would call me poo and crap. When I was 10 I fractured my arm and the doctor refused to see me. At the time I didn't understand why and I remember my dad was really angry. Eventually he agreed to see us and apologised for the way he behaved. I remember walking through the city with my brothers and cousins and this young teenager proceeded to mock us by talking like a maori. I knew he was picking on us but I couldn't quite understand why because we're not maoris. So I told my brothers and when my brothers approached him, he ran off. I have two boys who are both half caste. I make sure they're exposed to all sorts of cultures (My youngest son's best friend is sudanese). I tell them it doesn't matter what the colour of their skin is, as long as they're good people that's all that matters.

Where I live it is pretty cool and laid back. I have never had anyone comment on my appearance. Maybe it's because I am 6'1 and "scary" LOL who knows. But majority of the people around here are lovely.