Sometimes, I just want to say STOP IT. Stop. It. Stop making beautiful, meaningful, life-changing events into material THINGS. Things like jewellery and parties and…..wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Two very famous and wealthy women have had babies recently.
Both have publicly revealed that their husbands gave them ‘Push Presents’ – wildly expensive bits of jewellery as gifts for having said babies.
WTF. Does nothing count anymore unless it comes with diamonds and a giftbag? Or a big party and public acclaim and attention?
Both Rachel Zoe and Mariah Carey chose to announce to announce to the world VIA THEIR JEWELLERS, the details of their Push Presents. It’s enough to make you want to abandon the first world and go and live in a Mogolian Yurt until everyone gets their priorities the fuck straight.
I’ve written about push presents before on this post. Here is a recap:
“Having long excelled at making a party out of molehill, some women have a new item to add to their list of Things I Must Have. Push Presents. These are pieces of expensive jewellery – diamonds are usually involved – that men give to women for having a baby. And because diamonds don’t discriminate, you’re eligible even if, technically, you didn’t push. Caesareans also qualify. The point is you gave birth and that apparently requires something sparkly. Because the healthy baby isn’t enough. You need a bonus. With carats.”
This, from People Magazine:
The sapphire and diamond necklace Nick Cannon bought for wife Mariah Carey“New mom Mariah Carey didn’t have to wait long to celebrate her first Mother’s Day. Just days after welcoming twins Monroe and Moroccanon April 30, the singer toasted her new life as a mom with a very special present from Nick Cannon: a 4-carat diamond and sapphire necklace from Jason of Beverly Hills.
The sparkling piece, which also incorporates 14-karat white and rose gold, is valued at $12,000. Cannon, a longtime customer of Jason, was excited about his big surprise. “Nick came in and met with Jason on the Friday after his twins were born,” a source tells PEOPLE. “He was bleary eyed, looking so tired but so happy — all smiles, saying he wanted to design something special for Mariah’s first Mother’s day. He couldn’t wait to surprise her on Sunday.”
Vanessa Raphaely from Hurricane Vanessa writes about Rachel Zoe’s push present:
Zoe posted a picture of herself on Twitter on Mother’s Day with the message, “Happy Mothers Day to every Mom out there! I’m having the best day ever with @Rbermanus and Skyler Morrison :) xoRZ”Surely the following should hold true. In a sane and sensible world: Birthday presents? Fine.
A bunch of flowers on Valentines’ Day? If your heart so desires.
A thoughtful, modest gesture just for the love of the recipient?
Of course.
The ringBut the pressure of making a new tradition, setting up a new expectation, out of the purchase of yet another massive ticket purchase, to celebrate the birth of a child?
Oh God, please, only if you absolutely have to.
And if you must, I hope, like the virus of unnecessary extravagance and show-offery that they are, that “Push presents” do not spread to the general populace.
Here’s what I think: Donate some money to a child who has nothing, instead.
Then carry that gift around in your heart.
Silently.
Sing it sister. ENOUGH with the ostentatious presents and parties and renewal of vows. How about the BABY being enough of a gift and, as Vanessa so ingeniously suggested, if you are seized by the compulsion to spend money to celebrate your baby’s birth, who has nothing. So she can buy food or medicine or education for her child……
Am I over-reacting? I guess I’m just so exasperated by this constant need to celebrate things with gifts. Like the couples (Seal & Heidi Klum for example) who constantly renew their vows. Oh, Mariah and Nick did that too in the hospital when she gave birth!
How about just BEING MARRIED instead of constantly needing to turn it into a big material fuss? And where is this pressure coming from – is it the women guilting men into buying them jewellery? Is it the diamond industry trying to create a new market?
What do you think?
Top Comments
I think a present to mark the birth of your child is a beautiful idea, any husband worth his salt would want to thank his wife for the physical and mental strain of pregnancy. It didn't take away from the fact that our beautiful healthy baby was born, in fact nothing in the world could take away from that especially not jewellery!! Every time I look at it I'm reminded of my loving husband and beautiful baby. One day I hope to pass on the jewellery to my baby, which makes it even more special to me. It was expensive, but my baby still has everything it could possibly want or need and will get exactly the same education, regardless of my present. My husband still helped out around the house and did night feeds, why wouldn't he? It's his baby too and he wanted to do these things as much as I did. And lastly yes it was expected by me, and I can't see what's wrong with that either, I expected my husband to by me something to celebrate our baby, why wouldn't we, it was something I thought about in the months of severe morning sickness. And we still donate to charity as well, so get off your high horse. Also pregnancy is no picnic whether you have a c section or not, any one that thinks that being cut open to have a 3kg baby ripped out of them is a total idiot. Nothing neat and tidy about that. I gave birth naturally but it makes no difference how you do it, it's still the hardest thing you'll ever do.
Who are we do judge what people do and don't spend their money on? It's all relative. I mean, why buy any 'luxury' item, ever, if we should feel guilty that there are people that have nothing. I don't judge mothers that want to buy the top-of-the-range products for their baby. Do you? If you can afford the $1200 pram, the trendy clothes, the best toys, furniture, etc you would probably get it and justify it, somehow. You probably wouldn't buy a pram from a garage sale, get mismatched nursery furniture on ex-demo clearance and have your kids live in hand-me-down clothes from their cousins. As a mother, I am prudent and I work hard. I think I deserve a gift for my efforts without feeling guilty (for once). The money I didn't spend on all the expensive baby things, which by the way, baby couldn't care less about, we can splurge a little on something I'lll cherish and will give me a little boost when I'm feeling cabin fever after emerging from the baby cave after a month. Which, by the way for all the c-section judgers, is a difficult month of pain and immobility and I don't think is the "easy" option. I've yet to find a woman who has had both natural and caesar births say the caesar was easier. Anyway, some men/partners are not always perfect in the way they show their appreciation and don't always show it when it is needed most. Of course, every mother wants support and signs of appreciation regularly, but not every woman is blessed with a perfect partner that always knows the right thing to say and do at the right times. So, sometimes that little token of appreciation, albeit material, can make up for the times when she has not felt very appreciated. How much did your engagement/ wedding ring cost? Did you think of those that can't afford one at all? You are only making judgements about these celebs on what you can see. You don't know what goes on, what sacrifices they make, what they DO give to charity, which, percentage-wise might be equal to what you give. You are feeding the whole idea of celebrity by commenting on and judging people's lives that you get merely a glimpse of. It's what the tabloid media want us to do, get sucked into the machine. What would be better is if we just focused on what positive things people bring to the world and how we can improve ourselves. Stop being part of the media circus.