Another day, another breastfeeding scandal in our backyard. The story of Christie Rea humiliated by staff for breastfeeding at the National Gallery of Australia last week made my blood boil.
Stories just like Christie’s cycle through our media all too regularly, and despite the laws protecting breastfeeding mothers, negative attitudes to public breastfeeding are still widespread and are no doubt a contributing factor to low breastfeeding rates across Australia: With around 15% of babies still breastfeeding at five months, we fall well short of the World Health Organisation’s guidelines for exclusive breastfeeding until six months.
I am currently breastfeeding, and like many other mothers, have experienced anxiety around breastfeeding in public since before I gave birth. It seems like everyone has an opinion on public breastfeeding, whether they have breastfed or not, and the discourse around it does little to encourage or support new or expectant mums.
The first experience I had with the discussion came at my antenatal class run by the midwife at the hospital where I gave birth. She told us the story of a young mum she had cared for who was accosted by an older couple at a local shopping centre for breastfeeding in public. The poor mum was mortified, but another woman overhearing the exchange came to her defense and kindly brought the attackers up to speed with the rights of a breastfeeding mother.
“Moral of the story” our midwife said “you are by law, entitled to breastfeed your baby wherever you need to, and as a society we need to stick up for other breastfeeding women”. Empowering stuff I thought, until she added this barbed caveat “but don’t be provocative about it”.
This baffled me. How can you be provocative with breastfeeding? Don’t’ be sexy about it? Don’t rub your nipples and offer everyone else a suck? Don’t hover over your infant on your hands and knees and then allow them to latch on like a cow does with its calf? If that’s what she means, yeah sure, I won’t be provocative about it.
In re-telling this story, I have been surprised by the number of women who agree with the midwife: Public breastfeeding is OK, as long you’re modest. Use wraps and scarves to cover yourself and your baby, turn your back to passersby and use the pram to shield you. Only shop at large shopping centres that have parents’ rooms, or otherwise feed your baby before you leave and be home before the next feed to save you from having to use a bench or café.
The same women who gave me this advice, went on to share their horror stories of being stuck for a suitable place to feed in public, and resorted to taking their screaming, hungry babies to either public toilets or their hot cars.
By not following these precautions, and therefore being a provocative and attention-seeking “lactivist”, It seems that the worst thing that can happen to people around you is that they catch a glimpse of your bare, female breast or a rogue nipple and it *gasp* makes them feel uncomfortable.
It’s ridiculous that men can bare their entire chest without anyone batting an eyelid, but a woman breastfeeding is a free-for-all for criticism.
The inequality goes even deeper: Asking breastfeeding women to be modest is saying that you value your comfort over the needs of the mother and her child.
Would you let someone dry nurse your baby? Listen on Mamamia Out Loud.
As women, we are conditioned to value everyone else’s needs and comfort above our own, and so I feel an odd sense of ambivalence when I breastfeed in public: I’m potentially making people around me uncomfortable, but at the same time, if I hide away, I’m doing nothing to help normalise breastfeeding.
I look forward to the day when there is nothing remarkable about a woman breastfeeding in an art gallery.
Top Comments
Before I fell pregnant, I was one of those people who always thought - I will be discreet and wear a cover when I breastfeed as I am quite a shy person. However, I had so much trouble with baby latching on and fussing at the breast, so the cover soon got thrown out the window along with my shyness! I was insanely jealous of those mothers who could just pop the baby under the cover and breastfeed easily!
Interesting to see responses below that people think women breastfeed without covers because they want attention or fanfare, to me I just was desperate to try and feed my poor baby. I am so shy that the thought of people staring at me horrifies me, attention is the last thing I want - but breast milk is so important for babies in the early months and breastfeeding on demand was recommended to help my milk supply.
As a lawyer and breastfeeding mother, I always enjoy bringing this particular piece of federal legislation to people's attention. Go forth and breastfeed wherever and however you damn well please:
SEX DISCRIMINATION ACT 1984 - SECT 7AA
Discrimination on the ground of breastfeeding
(1) For the purposes of this Act, a person (the discriminator) discriminates against a woman (the aggrieved woman) on the ground of the aggrieved woman's breastfeeding if, by reason of:
(a) the aggrieved woman's breastfeeding; or
(b) a characteristic that appertains generally to women who are breastfeeding; or
(c) a characteristic that is generally imputed to women who are breastfeeding;
the discriminator treats the aggrieved woman less favourably than, in circumstances that are the same or are not materially different, the discriminator treats or would treat someone who is not breastfeeding.
(2) For the purposes of this Act, a person (the discriminator) discriminates against a woman (the aggrieved woman) on the ground of the aggrieved woman's breastfeeding if the discriminator imposes, or proposes to impose, a condition, requirement or practice that has, or is likely to have, the effect of disadvantaging women who are breastfeeding.
(3) To avoid doubt, a reference in this Act to breastfeeding includes the act of expressing milk.
(4) To avoid doubt, a reference in this Act to breastfeeding includes:
(a) an act of breastfeeding; and
(b) breastfeeding over a period of time.
Yes, because lawyers waving bits of paper around is a surefire way to ingratiate oneself with others and win support.
Ultimately, mothers have to co-exist with a larger community. As nice as it is to think that you don't have to pay any regard for the thoughts and feelings of others when you are a parent, the more reasonable and realistic approach is a bit of give-and-take - the world isn't your exclusive oyster. Most people actually don't have a problem with breast feeding, but they do have a problem with entitled attitudes and exhibitionism for the sake of attention. You are indeed protected by the law to not adopt any form of discretion when breastfeeding, but you can't "normalise" it and force people to think it's OK when they simply don't agree. The mindset of "I'M A MAMA AND I'LL DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL WANT AND IF YOU'RE NOT WITH ME YOU'RE AGAINST ME" is impetuous and ultimately does nothing to further the cause. Nine times out of ten, discreetly putting a baby on the boob without unnecessary exposure and fanfare (as opposed to the "confront-and-provoke-to-educate-and-challenge" bare-chested lactivist approach) won't raise an eyebrow.
Yes, I breastfeed with "fanfare" and for the attention. I carry around a special trumpet and my husband showers me with confetti while shouting EVERYONE LOOK THERE IS SOME BREAST EXPOSED!
Breastfeeding IS normal. And mothers have a right to be informed about their legal rights, so that (as we see regularly reported on this website) when they are discriminated against they can stand their ground, knowing they have a firm footing for doing so.