So there’s this playground near me that always has a queue for the slippery dip. I’m talking a real queue, a queue that can take 10 minutes to reach the front, just for that 0.79 seconds of pure joy to slide down.
The thing with this slippery dip is that it has a rope ladder. Tiny kids start climbing, full of confidence, but then get hit by nerves when they get near the top and have to pull themselves up onto the platform. They stop there, wailing, clinging to the rope, frozen in terror. Good times.
Anyway, I was at the playground the other day, pretty keen to get home for lunch, and my daughter was waiting semi-patiently in the queue when three boys rushed up and pushed in at the front.
“Oh, hey, there’s a line here, guys,” I told them. “There’s the end of it. Thank you!”
The boys trotted off to the end of the line. If they hadn’t, I would have just left it, but most kids will listen to a firm, reasonable adult.
Then a little girl toddled up and tried to push in at the front.
“You too, sweetheart,” I said to her. “End of the line.”
At that point, the girl’s mum, who I hadn’t noticed before, started screaming at me.
“What are you, a line nazi?”
She kept screaming at me as she grabbed her daughter and stalked over to the other side of the playground.
I just stood there. A line nazi? Me?
Look, I don’t know. Maybe this woman and her little girl had been hanging around nearby for a while. But the girl wasn’t in the line. And I was hungry, and I wanted to get home and have lunch.
POST CONTINUES BELOW: The book that will teach your children tolerance.
There are unwritten playground rules. If you’re on the swing and there’s someone else waiting their turn, you don’t spend too long on there. You only have one go on the flying fox and then you hand it to the person standing behind you. If there’s a baby on the roundabout, you don’t push it too fast. Oh, and if there’s a queue, you go to the end of it. Always.
These are the rules that all parents try to instill in their kids. Am I right?
Playgrounds aren’t just about eating sand and grazing your knees and making yourself so dizzy that you throw up. Oh no. Playgrounds are also about learning interpersonal skills.
At some point in your life, you need to learn consideration for other people. As an adult, if you try to push in front of other people to order your chai latte, you’re not going to make yourself very popular.
So when I ask kids politely to go to the end of the line, I’m doing it for their own good. (As well as mine.)
Am I a line nazi? Okay, maybe.
Top Comments
I agree with most of the people here, you did the right thing. As for Rebecca, who are you? Dr Spock? I think Helen has enough experience to know that children need free play and to handle their own situations sometimes. However, they also need to be shown correct behaviour, they need to be shown that they can stick up for themselves in a reasonable manner and what actions are called for depending on the situation. If you don't give them role models and advice, they have no reference for sorting out their own problems.
To give a different perspective. Free play is important, is vital for child development. While I wouldn't call you a line Nazi I would say you were hovering like a helicopter parent. Children need to have opportunity to work things out with other children, negotiate, figure out the parameters of co-operative play without the intervention of the parent or adult. Step back, supervise for safety and only intervene when absolutely necessary. You might be surprised to find out the children themselves can deal with any problems with cutting in line. Give the playground back to the children, let them grow. As for wanting to leave on time. Let your children know 10 or 5 minutes before you want to leave that we're going to leave in 10 or 5 minutes (10 or 5 whichever one you prefer), so finish up playing with... Then when times up you gather the children to leave. If you are able to be flexible if they are still in line, that's fine. If you aren't able to be flexible explain that the line is long and suggest that they play on something else and we'll come back another day and you can have a turn then. If they insist on waiting in line remind them that they might not get a turn before having to leave. As for the swing. I believe children can swing for as long as they like even when it's my child waiting. I suggest to my child to play with something else until the swing becomes available. It's hard to fully enjoy an activity when someone is hovering over you staring at you willing you to get off soon or timing you. Let children have free play. They need it.
wow, that's terribly therapeutic and best-case-scenario BUT there was a queue. The littlie probably had no idea she was pushing in (clearly her mother was not about to teach her), so someone said something and got a torrent of abuse for it. A long, detailed lecture about the benefits of free play are... unnecessary. Real world involves needing to get home, having told the kids they could have a go, then home, keeping an eye to make sure things move along smartly. THAT'S the lesson. Don't be cowed by lazy, selfish parents.
You don't have to agree with my perspective. That's OK. But don't tell me that my perspective on free play is unnecessary. I thought it was necessary that's why I wrote it. I'm a mum that faces similar challenges of needing to get home, cook dinner, routines etc. Some parents get frustrated at helicopter parents hovering over the children at the playground. I don't hover over my child at the playground trying to make sure everything 'moves along smartly.' It's not lazy, selfish parenting. It's smart parenting. It's choosing not to interfere and stunt children's development. I do have training, qualifications and practical experience in early and middle childhood development and I am a mum. Both of these things contribute to my perspectives. I don't see any reason why I should be told I can't share my perspective just because it differs from the author or others posting. Different perspectives are good for us. As for the torrent of abuse from the screaming parent. I'm not convinced that there was a torrent of abuse. I wasn't a witness to it so I don't know if she screamed or not. Saying 'what are you, a line Nazi' is sarcasm not what I'd call a torrent of abuse. As for you judging the parent as clearly not about to teach her child how to take turns, what would you know? Have you spent enough time with that parent to know what they are or are not teaching that child?