Remember when the most flattering thing a man could do was ask if it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Or request a map, because he got lost in your eyes?
Or insist that you were a thief for stealing his heart?
Sigh. Pickup lines have really changed in the last few years.
According to Maximillion Berger, a dating coach from Los Angeles, there’s a new ultimate pickup line on the block. (To be applied on Tinder, of course. This is 2016, people).
Apparently, it works every time.*
*Most of the time. Sometimes. Really depends who you’re talking to, though. Some girls are straight up bitches.
Watch the Mamamia Team reveal the moment they knew their partners were “The One” (no awful pickup lines necessary).
Berger, who we know has a lot of sex because he talks often and loudly about having a lot of sex, recommends that his disciples use the “Apocalypse Opener” if they’re looking for a surefire one night stand.
It goes as follows:
Well, the lovely lady at @feminist_tinder, for one, who’s calling out nonsense like this “foolproof” pickup line as she comes across it.
If you ever come across the “Apocalypse Opener” in the wild, feel free to follow her suggestion and chuck the perp a friendly link to Maximillion Berger’s website.
You might miss out on some quality “squirting”, though, so weigh your options carefully.
Top Comments
Using the word squirt n a message to a stranger is VERY creepy and pervy actually. How would he be able to tell if he himself is creepy? Every creep or perv is sure they aren't.
Yeah, here's a tip. If you have to say "I'm not a creep or a pervert", you're in trouble. It's like when people say, "I'm not racist, but..." or "I don't want to be judgmental, but...", you know they're about to say something pretty racist or judgmental. Plus, all the 'ha ha"s come off... creepy.