rogue

'Underwear or torture device?' You decide.

 

I think there’s a lot to be said for pearls on a woman. Paired with a gown or even a silk blouse, they add an elegant touch to any neck.

But as users on a discussion board on mumsnet discovered, the neck is not where some marketers would like women to wear their pearls.

In a thread titled: ‘Underwear or torture device?’ One user posted a screenshot of the products that were popping up in their online ads. 

The question posed by LemonRedwood may have some validity considering the size of the comment section that quickly grew below it.

The Explainer: 

User gindrinker43 said:

"You would have some explaining to do if the elastic broke in public."

Barry's Girl:

User Ilostitintheearlynineties said:
"Their fanny's have been airbrushed or photoshopped to look like Barbie's undercarriage.

"I can imagine a middle aged wife in a suburban street somewhere buying those to 'spice things up' in the bedroom."

"Barry, I've got a treat for you tonight..Ta da." Whips off nylon robe."

Drafty dame:

User ouryve said:

"Just what is the point of those? They'd be right draughty."

Cheesewire Chafing: 

User draenorqueen said:

"Oh GOD! Are any other "larger ladies" imagining this bad boy rolling down to the point where it's in a screwed up bundle round the bottom of your bum, cheesewire gusset still lodged in place?! They're AWFUL!"

Furry Fun:

User girlandboy said:

"You may as well not wear anything. Rather go nekkid than have to keep plucking that string thing all day. And unless you've had a pretty extensive waxing session, I can only imagine it could look a bit furry?"

"Or am I showing my age?"

Utilitarian User

User glacindathetroll said:

“I'm really hoping this is bedroom wear, where keeping on something draughtily revealing might have quite a useful purpose.”

“Not for going out for a bicycle ride (I hope).”

Lusty Lass

User sixinabed said:

“Clearly designed by a man who imagines that anything rubbing against your bits will whip you into a lusty frenzy.”

“They look painful as well as unattractive to me”

The product may not be to everyone's taste but I'll stand by my original statement that pearls - wherever they're worn - are still the mark of good taste.

Not that we're saying it'll happen but let's revisit some of our most embarrassing dates.

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Top Comments

SAHMx2 8 years ago

don't knock it 'til you've tried it ;-)


Rush 8 years ago

Didn't these feature in an episode of Sex And The City? Samantha wore them for her boyfriend and ended up having to walk up a bunch of stairs, nearly causing serious damage.
And yeah, that is some weird looking photoshop there.

Lexy 8 years ago

Yes! I love that episode.