At least one scene involves a peeled vegie up the bum.
EL James’s cynical money-making ploy retelling of Fifty Shades of Grey from Christian’s perspective has arrived.
And judging by what the critics have to say, we’re guessing the reviews will be far more entertaining than the book (which is called Grey if you’re dashing out to the shops).
With delightfully cringe-worthy prose like this, though, it was always going to be an easy target:
“She studies me for a moment as if she’s solved the riddle of the sphinx.” So deep.
“An image of her shackled to my bench, peeled gingerroot inserted in her ass so she can’t clench her buttocks, comes to mind.” So sexy.
“I grab the box and the note and head for my study. I will handle this better from my seat of power.” So commanding.
Scott Bryan has reviewed the piece on Twitter, by extracting the most extraordinary parts.
Scott BryanIt’s fair to say the reviewers really haven’t known what to make of Grey.
There are the reviewers who weren’t into it – at all:
But some people are into it:
This book is not meant to be polite – nor subtle – but Christian was definitely sexier when more of him was left to the imagination…But let’s face it nobody’s here for that. It’s the naughty goings-on in the Red Room of Pain that has had Grey flying up the best-seller lists on pre-orders alone.
Don’t worry they’re all in there – and steamier than ever thanks to Christian’s spin on events. – Laura Davis, Liverpool Echo.
And our personal favourite:
He’s a boring dork. He’s a man with massive unresolved mommy issues who runs around listening to the Foo Fighters, using the winky-face emoji in his erotic emails and playing endless golf with a man called Bastille. He relentlessly tells Anastasia that he is a one-in-a-million super-stud because of his daring BDSM hobby, while actually daydreaming about braiding her hair. – Alexandra Heminsley, the Pool
We can’t wait to get our hands on this literary masterpiece…
Oh my.
Will you be reading the new Fifty Shades book?
Want more? Try these:
Rosie Reviews: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Mia Freedman on 50 Shades of Grey: “Am I the only one who didn’t have a problem with it?”
Lisa Wilkinson reviews 50 Shades of Grey movie: “It’s more appalling than appealing”.
Top Comments
Wonder if she will ever write anything besides 50 Shades of Grey saga? I mean after the Grey book, what else? Their children's perspective perhaps? How they find their parents' red room and get themselves into BDSM?
Are some women really so desperate, that they'll actually read EL James's garbage?
Cringe!!!