What a time to be alive!
Australian television has hit an all-time high. This is even bigger than when a cyclone hit Summer Bay (has that happened? Let’s assume).
This is even better than the smash-hit of 2006, Yasmin’s Getting Married.
Last night, Channel Seven FINALLY listened to the people, by airing a ground-breaking new series, straight from the UK.
Never Teach Your Wife To Drive.
“They say ‘never teach your wife to drive'”, says the posh English-accented voiceover, pointing out that common catchphrase that I’ve heard so many times in my life, that if I had a dollar for every time I’d heard it, I’d be homeless. “But these brave men are doing exactly that.”
They are brave men. These three guys going into battle on the passenger seat deserve British Empire medals for all that bravery. What they must have seen! What they have now been through! It doesn't bear thinking about!
I mean, women? Driving CARS? What will they think of next?! Soon there will be women who are just allowed to escape the house whenever they want! Women will just be walking down the street, before they've even been taught by a professional walking man. They might even start having female race car drivers some day - it's just unnatural!
"Will two weeks of driving lessons from their other halves result in a green light from a driving instructor?" says posh lady announcer (ummmm how did she get this job? Shouldn't she be cleaning something?). Then it cuts to a shot of the driving instructor - but what's this?! It's a woman! WHO TAUGHT HER TO DRIVE?!
And how's this for an exciting twist: one of the ladies isn't JUST contending with the fact that she has a lady-brain, so is therefore incapable of shifting gears, she was in a car accident as a young woman which killed her then boyfriend. But only a woman would get upset over that! **Cuts to a shot of her husband telling her "you just have to stop screaming and concentrate".**
Such sensitive television. And I thought Channel Seven had peaked with Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud. (Luckily I stored every episode of that classic on my hard drive - I'm forever watching reruns of the kitty lols!)
Haha OMG! The woman just hit the kerb because she was talking about shopping and playing with her hair. Typical! Sometimes I talk about shopping and play with my hair so much, I don't even go to sleep! I'm just still on the couch when my boyfriend gets up in the morning, talking to my shopping bags, finishing the last of the 600 plaits in my hair! I may be exhausted, but at least I look good. SHOPPINGHAIRSHOPPINGHAIR Oops sorry, just can't help it!
Never Teach Your Wife To Drive is so good, you shouldn't stop here, Channel Seven. There's so many shows still to be produced! What about Never Let Your Woman Vote? Or maybe Slaves Say The Funniest Things? Here's a hit: Homes and Gardens: DIY Glass Ceilings!
I'll tune into all of them. After all, I can't leave the house - no man has offered to teach me how to drive!
Top Comments
Funny, men are painted as stupid 99.99999% of the time in the media. Even dare have a laugh at a female's expense, and OMG, THE SKY IS FALLING! OUTRAGE STATIONS!!!
Grow a sense of humour and ability to laugh at yourself ladies.
Yeah, men are painted as stupid in ads all the time, and us women hear about it from men all the time. I'd far prefer it neither sex was painted as being a complete idiot, thanks very much.
I thought this show had the weirdest take on the footage that they had. If anything, I thought it should be titled: 'Never Get Your Husband to Teach You to Drive,' since I saw the issues as being 50% of the fault of the husband, at the very least! The three women in the show really really needed lessons from professionals (and to be fair, they all were utterly terrible drivers), and not from people who they were in relationships with. People whose job it is to teach people to drive. People who view their students with kindness and respect and not someone who is going to be cooking dinner for them later. And the women need to have teachers who they can't use sexual acts to bargain with (all being well). It's not going to be a good learning environment for anyone involved if the student is telling the teacher that if they don't keep their hands off the wheel that they're not going to get any sex that night.
I can see how what they showed could be a fun and funny program, but the takeaway shouldn't be that you shouldn't teach your wife to drive. I could see the show having three sections. First we see the couple in the car with the woman at the wheel and driving appallingly, and the partner cringing as he fears for his life in the passenger seat. Then we see the woman having lessons with a professional and how she learns to drive like someone who isn't Mr Magoo. Then she takes her test, passes it and we see another drive where she is at the wheel, the partner in the passenger seat and this time around it's not a stressful experience since she can actually drive. It ends on a shot of the couple where the woman is holding up her new drivers licence and then they share a high five at a job well done.
Yeah - it seems to be an intentionally provocative title for the media and publicity. I thought a better title would The Perils of Teaching someone you know how to drive can be perilous to your relationship so leave it to the professionals, it's not quite as catchy though.
I know a lot of nervous Nellies and Nervous Neds and I would never consider offering to teach them how to drive on public roads, let alone a go-kart, my gritted teeth and white clenched knuckles ripping open the dashboard is not going to help anyone. Unless, it's their car of course.