In the ripe old age of my…ahem mid 30’s, I got married. It was wonderful to finally commit to someone after years of investigating the market as I call it.
However, shortly after tying the knot and getting back to the grindstone, the most common question amongst friends, family and well, everyone else I know was “so, when are you going to start having children?”
Now first things first, I’m not against having children in the slightest and I admire, respect and adore my gorgeous friends with their gorgeous little and big ones. But when did we crawl back to the 1950’s where we had to get married to have children AND we had to have children once we got married? How far we have come, and yet how far away we truly are.
I could go on and on about that subject, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about so I digress.
I started thinking about why I haven’t got the bug, the maternal drive, the want to procreate, have beautiful children and watch them grow (right now anyways). And it hit me. I have a child. It’s 11yrs old. It screams, keeps me up at night, takes the money from my wallet, smiles at me when it wants something and makes me compromise my livelihood on a daily basis. It’s called “My Business”.
Now in business years, it’s kind of like dog years, so in reality I have a teenager who’s about ready to leave home, and create their own path in this world, a phase of which I’m rather excited to witness. And, just like coming home on Sundays, we too will also sit down once a week to discuss the woes and wonders of the world where we’ll both learn and educate each other – kind of like Sunday Roast dinner.
I don’t pretend to know the pains and the joys of having children, and I don’t make light of the pros and cons of either side, but I love MY child, I feed it, shower it with love, spend my life making sure it’s happy and in turn, it provides me a wealth of emotion, success and happiness (generally speaking), however at the end of the day, my child is my business.
So, to all of those fabulous young and older women who are creating their own family in whichever way that means to you – I applaud you.
Hear Andrea Culligan, Managing Director/CEO of Unimail speak about women and leadership at Macquarie University’s Women, Management and Work Conference on 28-29 July 2011.
Top Comments
I'm in the opposite position. I'm a lesbian who co-parents my 14 yo daughter with her mother (she's my ex's biological daughter but she was 18months old when we met and we just bonded).
People are constantly surprised when I say I have a daughter - like gays aren't supposed to raise children - let alone one which 'belongs' to someone else. My parents don't recognise her as my daughter (I don't care they can go to hell) and I've been asked how I can raise and love her like my own (those people can also go to hell).
I love my career and would say I'm pretty successful and happy with my choices. I never considered having children before I met my daughter - now I can't imagine life without her in it. Mind you I still don't like other peoples kids :-P
PS I saw Andrea speak at the Women in Leadership conference last year and she was very inspirational. And funny.
You sound like a terrific mum. Your daughter is lucky to have you.
thanks, Andrea, for bringing this topic up and just for once making me feel like I'm not the only one who wants to be Married Without Children. since when did our society get so judgmental about a personal issue? I' sure it's got worse in recent years, and personally, I blame Peter Costello and his 'One for the country' policy ... :-)