A woman must choose between her husband and unborn child after he told her to have an abortion just nine weeks into a planned pregnancy.
The couple, who have been married for two years, have always wanted children but were waiting for the right time.
“A few months ago my husband got a big promotion and we just decided to start trying for a baby,” the 27-year-old explained on a Reddit forum where she is seeking advice.
“It was something that just happened. My husband asked me how I would feel if we got pregnant this year instead of two years from now, and I guess we both got caught up in the moment and decided to go for it.”
At first her partner seemed pleased when fell pregnant but his behaviour soon became erratic and increasingly mean.
When she asked what was wrong he fobbed it off as “work stuff”, until one morning when she found him crying at the kitchen table.
Her husband, who is also in his late-20s, broke down and told her he thought they were “too young” to have a child and were “making a mistake”.
At first her husband was pleased and then seven weeks in something changed. Source: iStock
"He begged me to consider aborting our baby and going back to our original plan of waiting 2 more years," she says.
Sad and disappointed by the back flip — it was his idea, after — she says she absolutely doesn't want to terminate the pregnancy.
The problem is, she doesn't know what keeping it might do to their relationship.
"It's just hard for me to feel anything loving for him right now ... I just don't understand why he wouldn't want a child we created together on purpose," she says.
"Maybe he just doesn't want to be a father? I would love reassurance that everything will be fine, but I would rather have the truth."
Several Reddit users suggested the couple consult a counsellor to discuss the issue.
"It could be passing panic, it could be a deeper problem," one speculates, "but either way, it's leading him to say things and behave in ways that are hurting you.
"A therapist or counsellor [could help] before too much damage is done."
One says there's "never a good time for any big, life-changing event", including having a baby, and waiting won't miraculously make the woman's husband more "ready".
He is worried about what a baby would do to his life. Source: iStock
The general consensus is that the woman should "listen to [her] gut", and do what is right for her.
As one used points out, abortions are traumatic even for women who know they are making the right choice.
"I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through something like that when you actually wanted to keep it.
"I think if you want to keep it, you should. At the end of the day it is your body, your baby, and your decision."
What would you do?
Top Comments
It's YOUR body - YOUR choice. Do what YOU want to do and do not let him decide for you. Also... if you decide to keep it - it may be a good idea to move out until the baby is born. I seen to many stories on TV about the husband/boyfriend doing something sinister because they did not want to be a father yet. If you keep it - move out and do not allow yourself to be alone with him - always have others around. That may sound extreme - but better to be safe than sorry.
my husband pressured me into aborting a child, we went on to have another two years later and part of me hates him and the other part mourns my child every single day. Then he went on to have an affair and our relationship was crap. I wish i'd never got rid of my baby for him. Now i only have one child and too old for another. I don't believe there is ever right time... but there is a fear of being tied down. Perhaps he has ideas about leaving, or is having an affair. Or wants to. do what you want but nothing is worse than regretting an abortion. Mrs Bob Hawke did that for her husband. Many women do the for their husbands. But you don't want to regret it.