By SHAUNA ANDERSON
Trish LaForty arrived home last week from swimming with her 11-month old son expecting to have a quiet afternoon with her baby.
Instead she found a note in her letterbox that left her stunned.
The Sunshine Coast mother had been left a passive aggressive note asking her to keep her baby quiet.
Trish told The Sunshine Coast Daily that when she first got the note she was devastated.
“When I first saw it I was upset. No one enjoys hearing their baby cry,” Trish said.
It read “You may be able to ignore your baby crying but we are tired of listening to him crying non-stop all day.”
She told The Daily Mail it left her “shocked and emotional. No mum wants to hear that message, regardless of how true it is.”
So Trish decided to respond.
She approached each of her neighbours in the block that she and her partner have been living in for six months.
She says they have never had any hostilities with their neighbours.
“I wanted to clear the air, but also to find out if anyone had experienced any similar notes” she said.
But no one could shed any light on who the angry letter writer was.
“I still have have no idea who it is. I guess it could be someone who sits at home all day with nothing better to do.
“Maybe they could have offered a helping hand rather than writing than writing a silly letter?”
Trish decided to respond to the writer on her local community Facebook page saying.
“Like being a parent isn’t tough enough… You didn’t even have the guts to come knock on our door.
Our baby doesn’t cry ‘all day’, he cries when he doesn’t want do go to sleep, when he’s getting his nappy changed and when I say ‘no’ because I refuse to let him be spoilt and run around like he owns the joint.
If you’d like to chat more, feel free to pop in. You obviously know where we live.’
So far she has had no response from the initial writer.
Trish wrote on Facebook that she was hoping, by publicising the note, it might make others help struggling mums.
“But the next time you see/hear an adult struggling with a child..offer a helping hand, it’ll make their day”
“Every baby has good days and bad days. Parents should be able to have the support from their community, “she told The Daily Mail.
“I think it’s sad that there are still people out there who lack the true feel of what a community should be.”
It seems though Facebook is filling in that gap with her post inundated with messages of support.
“Wow! Clearly they have never had children or been around a child….. Crying is how kids of young age express them selfs! THEY WERE ONCE CHILDREN THAT CRIED” wrote one person.
Another questioned “What happened to the old adage, it takes a village to raise a child?”
The support was endless.
“These people need to get a life and realise the world does not revolve around them.”
Trish says she may never know who wrote the letter but that it will now not faze her.
“I know I’m a fantastic mum, just trying to raise the point that people shouldn’t be afraid to help their neighbours if they’re that concerned enough to leave a note”
Do you think the letter writer should have left the note? Is this an ok way to respond to a crying baby?
Top Comments
Parents, consideration and understanding is a two way street. If you want people to be considerate and understanding of your situation, try being understanding of theirs.
Exactly. I wouldn't write a note like that, but perhaps they are shift workers? And yes, it is a hard sound to listen to all the time. It's hard for the parents, too, but they signed on for it. I have a neighbour with a crying baby, and while I know there's not much they can do about it, yeah, it's upsetting when I can't get to sleep because of it. I am a very quiet neighbour- I don't do endless renovations, I don't play music loudly and I don't have an endless stream of people around. And if I was obliviously doing something noisy and my neighbours approached me about it, I wouldn't get pissed at them, I'd try to change my routine so they weren't inconvenienced. So yeah, it's difficult when you're a considerate, quiet neighbour and you have neighbours who are oblivious, then get pissy when it's brought to their attention. The note-writer could have approached it in a better way but it's pretty unfair for parents to not even acknowledge that their choices are impacting other people in a negative way, and to expect them to just put up with it.
You know the reason people are getting so mad? The way that some of the parents in here seem to think they are the only ones deserving of some empathy.
Non parents/parents of non toddlers say 'I understand where the note writer is coming from, it would drive me nuts' and you all say things to them like 'you horrible person how dare you hate children so much' and 'I wish you have colicky octuplets' and 'I will leave a dirty nappy on your doorstep' etc etc.
And then the non parents/parents of non toddlers say 'no no no, you've misunderstood. I don't hate your child at all. We're just kinda want to get some sleep at night. We didn't sign up to this parenting gig/have done our time with small children, you're the one who did/is having their turn with babies, I appreciate it is not fun, but we have to go to work on 4 hours sleep for months on end and my daughter has to get up and do her HSC exams this month, can you please try carpet on the walls or something so we can sleep' and the parents fire back with 'SUCK IT UP PRINCESS, YOU CRIED AS A BABY, I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE BABIES CRYING, BABIES ARE PART OF THE COMMUNITY TOO YOU EVIL COW' and then the non parents/parents of non toddlers are like '.....you are just twisting our words now. WTF?'
This is why people keep throwing the 'entitled parents' words around. Because of parents who look at this situation and think the people at their wits end hearing another baby cry at evil horrible monsters who deserve hell, not a bit of empathy. Try and sound proof the baby's room and do things like move the crib from against the neighbours wall, pick and choose when controlled crying is suitable in high density living (6am Sunday: NO. 3pm Sunday: UGH, annoying but whatever) and maybe understand you are not the ONLY PEOPLE affected by your colicky baby. It's not that hard to be a little empathetic to others. The entitled parent brigade seem to expect it, but not be willing to GIVE it.
I guess that there are a lot of assumptions being made in the comments. We really don't know at what time the baby was crying - or for how long. Nowhere is it mentioned that the baby is crying during the night or at an unreasonable hour. The mother of the baby seems to think that the times her baby cries is reasonable. We cannot ask the person who wrote the note, as they have chosen to remain anonymous, so really is if we base our comments on what we actually know of this situation- we can't really comment at all!!
However, you will see that the question being asked at the end of the article is not - is it reasonable for a baby to cry non-stop all night long into the morning. The question was if the anonymous note the right way to respond to a crying baby. I would argue no, as the way it was written, and the fact it was posted anonymously has not helped the situation at all - but seems to have made it worse??
(BTW am not a parent, so please don't call all the people who are commenting against leaving the note 'entitled parents'. This devalues the arguments being made.)
I think part of it is different people have different ideas of what is reasonable time. Some people would think 7am Sunday is a reasonable time of day for controlled crying, some people who like their Sunday sleep ins would think it's rude and unreasonable.
My partner and I even have different opinions on what time is reasonable for noise.
Completely agree. As a mother of a 4 month old with pets including 4 chickens there has to be a balance between your right to live the way you want without unreasonably encroaching on your neighbours rights. Babies and crying go together and there's not much you can do about it but it sounds like both parties would benefit showing a bit more compassion.
Btw while a note is a bit rude I don't blame them-confronting a stranger wouldn't be easy and no one wants to start one of those escalating neighbourhood feuds.