If you happened to tune into My Kitchen Rules last night, you would be well acquainted with the many, many facial expressions belonging to ‘villain’, Jessica.
The health-nut-turned-nutella-straddler-and-reformed-carb-lover has a smorgasbord of facial expressions to choose from, each one more grandiose and dramatic than the next.
WATCH a snippet of last night’s episode below. Post continues after video…
Watching an episode of MKR is now like watching a facial contortionist at work, and we think Jess deserves a bit of recognition for her unique talent.
Naturally, we’ve compiled a list of our favourite Jess expressions – Jessxpressions, if you will:
1. The Slow Blink
Jess seems to whip this one out for the kill within the first 20 minutes of each ep, the exact time when she’s staring down her opponents across the table.
It’s powerful, it’s intimidating, it’s very villainous.
When Jess pulls ‘The Slow Blink’, it’s like time slows down.
2. The Analyst
Ah, ‘The Analyst’. The look Jess pulls when her plate of bready, deep-fried food comes out and she’s deciding whether she’s going to be Healthy Jessica or Carb-Lovin’ Jessica today.
If Perogi is on the menu, we all know what her answer is.
#JessLovesCarbs
3. The ‘The Other Team Succeeded’
Just WATCH those lips purse.
Like a true reality TV ‘Villain’, Jess is NEVER HAPPY when another team succeeds. Because deep down, Jess is super competitive and wants victory more than anything. The Channel 7 producers probably got bonuses on their paychecks when Jess pulled this face last night.
4. The ‘The Other Team Failed’
GOLD, I TELL YOU. This girl is reality TV gold.
When Jess pulled this face last night – straight after ‘Pete Paleo Evans’ told the lovebirds their meat wasn’t cooked properly – I spat a mouthful of Maggi Noodles onto my lap.
Could you find a more chuffed human being?! I don’t think you could.
5. The Smiling Assassin
I’d love to know what’s going inside that head of hers when Jess creates this face.
Is she A. Happy?! Is she B. Conniving an evil plan to claim the MKR trophy?! Is she C. thinking about delicious, chocolatey Nutella again?! (Personally, I’m option C… always.)
MmmmMmmmMmmmmmm, Nutella.
What’s your favourite Jessxpression?
Top Comments
I can't believe MM continues to promote a show in which the producers continually cast women as bitches (and yes, I do believe they are cast and coached, if not outright scripted - and bitch seems the appropriate label for many of these "characters"). It's always a woman (or two) who's the biggest troublemaker, the least satisfied with everything, the one who sets out to despise everything put before them and who can't help but trash other "contestants". It's almost never a man in that role, in any Channel 7 production, except in as much as he stands by his woman.
Talk about perpetuating misogyny? Channel 7 have made it their staple fare.
They script everyone though. There is almost always a nasty girl or two, an Asian team (usually girls), country couple/pair, the "battlers", the loved up pair, the mature cougar etc etc. Same, same, but different every season
Yes, it's all about stereotypes and caricatures. It sets out to exploit ingrained social bigotry.
And they all learn how to present those carefully crafted studio interviews where they all speak in the same way - a way that no one speaks in real life - where, some hours after the whole event is over, they talk as if narrating something that's happening right now. "So the garlic chocolate cake is burned and I have to make a decision - I don't know what I'm going to do" and the good old "If we mess this one up, it could be the end for us". They already know the result when they say these things, they did it - hours ago. It's done. It's over. It's freakin' nonsense.
And here it is, being promoted like it has some sort of social value.