teens

Missy Higgins: "Dear 13-year-old me, this year is going to be your toughest yet."

Dear 13-year-old Me,

 Look, I’m going to be honest: this year is going to be your toughest yet. You won’t feel certain of anything. The world will sometimes feel like it is literally shifting underneath those brown leather T-bars of yours.
That girl at school who you’re afraid of: the one that everyone wants to be like, who pinches the back of your arm painfully every time you walk by? She is just a sad, sad person. I know it’s hard to feel sympathy for her when you’re currently fantasising about punching her in her stupid face, but at least try not to take it too personally and be glad you’re not her.

Man, you don’t know it now but there are soooooo many new hormones and stuff coursing through your veins that just make everything seem so emotional and raw, and HARD TO DEAL WITH. Believe me, when you get a bit older, life turns from a rickety old horror movie roller-coaster into a cruisy party sailing boat on a silken sea. OK, that’s maybe an exaggeration but you get what I mean. Things will fall into place like a pro in a Tetris game. One by one. Stuff just begins to make sense.

On the This Glorious Mess podcast, we spoke to Grace Halphen. The 15-year-old editor of the book Letter To My Teenage Self:

 Right now there are moments when it feels like you’re never going to belong anywhere, right? That you’re just too different? That no one could possibly understand a freaky alien like you? Well, just know this: some day in the not-too-distant future you’ll realise that those qualities make you SO RAD. Seriously. Possibly even the exact things you’re being teased for right now at school are the exact things that will gain you respect and many-a-high-five once you’re out into the real world. Don’t get me wrong, there are bozos everywhere who won’t get you, even when you’re 40 (and don’t get me started on Twitter trolls) but unlike at school, when you’re an adult it’s easy to find people who get you and love you and accept you for who you are. And when you find those people, you’ve gotta pull them all real close and don’t let them go. They are your friends for life. Bugger the rest!

 

"When you find those people, you’ve gotta pull them all real close and don’t let them go." Image via Getty.

Little friend, as the years go by your little guarded heart will unfold bit by bit, it will. You’ll even learn to see the similarities between you and strangers, and realise we’re not all so different after all. In fact you’ll begin to see that most people are fundamentally the same, underneath all the many many layers of crap we build up over time to protect our papier-mâchéd hearts. You’ll realise none of us has a friggin’ clue what we’re doing or how to live, we’re just all doing the best we can. You’ll be sad sometimes, I can’t promise you that you won’t because everyone gets sad. Some more than others. But you’ll learn ways to deal with it (like exercising and not taking drugs … also calling your sister and just talking and talking until the tightness dissipates) and importantly you’ll notice that like everything, sadness comes and goes. Accepting the ride is often the hardest part. That and asking for help.

Honestly, darling, being a teenager sucks. I know it does. Being liked, being popular, being skinny, being pretty, getting good grades, pleasing your parents … blurgh. Don’t worry about those things. And please don’t diet. Despite what ALL the magazines seem to be telling you, it’s much better to be healthy than skinny. I know it feels like maybe the only thing that you can control in such a crazy, unpredictable world, but it is not the answer. Also, don’t worry about your grades! If you really want to go to uni and get a degree, great. But if not, you should know that almost none of your friends who go to uni will end up using their degrees to get a job and all of them are still paying off their uni debts! If you know what you want to do, just get out there and find a way to do it! Be an apprentice, start from the ground up. Doing what you love is the most important thing in the world. But you’ve got a lifetime to figure out what that is. You’ve got a lifetime of learning, it never stops. And it’s a cliché, I know, but life really does just get better and better. I promise. All you have to do right now is SURVIVE.

And know that I love you.

Love from older you.

Xxxxxxx

This letter is an excerpt from Grace Halphen's book "Letter to my Teenage Self", and was republished here with full permission. 

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