Hello and welcome to the Met Gala.

Yes, the red carpet that saw Kim Kardashian arrive as a dementor WAS only seven months ago, but now that we've given up any semblance of control over that pesky COVID thing, everything is back to normal!

The first Monday in May (Tuesday for those of us down under) is back to being about FASHION, CELEB SPOTTING AND WAITING AROUND FOR RIHANNA (who won't be in attendance this year, because she's heavily pregnant - although, would there be a more fitting place for Riri to give birth than on the steps of the Met?)

Watch: Let's look back at some of the Met Gala's most iconic looks. Post continues below video.

This year's theme was 'In America: an anthology of fashion'. What does that mean? Well, apparently it pointed to 'Gilded Glamour'. Unfortunately, no one knew what that meant either.

I was told to expect feathers and fringe.

This year's red carpet was hosted byVogueeditor-at-large Hamish Bowles, Queen of Netflix Christmas films Vanessa Hudgens, and television personality La La Anthony.

And, of course, it started late. This is Anna Wintour's show, honey. Anna gives mebig'fashionably late to everything' vibes.

24 minutes after the scheduled time, things finally got underway. I was a shell of my former self by that point, but as the saying goes: nevertheless, she persisted.

Here are the wildest, most ridiculous moments from fashion's biggest, most bizarre night.

Blake Lively's dress change.

As mentioned, we started late.

SO LATE THAT WE MISSED SEEING BLAKE LIVELY'S RED CARPET DRESS REVEAL LIVE.

This will go down as the greatest Met-related travesty of our time.

But, thankfully the legends atVarietyhad footage to share with the world:

Blake Lively’s dress is unveiled at the #MetGala. https://t.co/2kVWwK9Yn6 pic.twitter.com/Vo4XCydMRt

— Variety (@Variety)

I don't know if I'll ever forgive Anna for this.

Amy Schumer's chaotic interview.

In 2019, Amy Schumer said attending the Met Gala felt like 'a punishment'.

So naturally... she has returned.

On the red carpet, Amy was asked what the theme of 'Gilded Glamour' meant to her and she responded, "Um, a vibrator" before saying she was there for the free drinks.

If you get the joke, please DM me. I'm at a loss.

She brought along 20-year-old climate activist Xiye Bastida, but the young woman wasn't given too much time to talk.

Instead, Amy joked: "Everyone's always at home [wondering] what Amy Schumer's going to be wearing."

Anderson .Paak being relatable as hell.

On the red carpet, Anderson .Paak was asked what he was most looking forward to about the night and he said, without missing a beat, "hopefully there's food here".

Based on details we've heard about previous years, he may be... disappointed.

A Jared Leto conspiracy theory.

SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED.

During the night, this person arrived:

No, I don't believe anyone wore this in the Gilded Age. But that's neither here nor there, because we - somehow - have bigger issues than the outfit, which somehow looks like a fish skeleton, but also the latest COVID variant.

From the get-go, Getty, the photo agency everyone in media has been refreshing violently for hours, attributed the look to Jared Leto, which led to all the publications live posting to their blogs and social feeds to do the same.

Then, GETTY TOOK DOWN ALL THE IMAGES.

BECAUSE THAT WAS NOT JARED LETO.

That man is Fredrik Robertson, a couture collector.

I think we all owe him an apology.

Jared turned up a little later, WITH ANOTHER FAKE HIM:

He and designer Alessandro Michele arrived in matching outfits, but when you finally nail down who the real Jared Leto is, it makes sense: he was looking like his usual, cult-leader self.

Lady Whistledown is going to have thoughts about this.

There were a lot ofBridgertonvibes on the red carpet, and not just because Simone Ashley, Regé-Jean Page and Phoebe Dynevor were all there looking divine.

Billie Eilish arrived looking like the fourth Featherington sister:

And then, an actual Featherington sister, the delightful Nicola Coughlan arrived in the dress Penelope has always deserved:

Can't wait to see what goss Lady Whistledown has to share with the ton from inside the museum.

Lizzo and her flute were the night's greatest couple.

Not only did Lizzo pose with her beloved flute in front of the cameras, she also delivered an impromptu performance.

Lizzo plays a "one-of-a-kind" flute on the #MetGala carpet https://t.co/7pfrLBlt8g pic.twitter.com/lW3gzbTI8I

— Variety (@Variety)

https://www.instagram.com/p/CdE-qQ7O3jH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading

Now, I love Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness, Joshua Jackson and Jodie Turner-Smith and Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, but sorry... Lizzo and her flute win all the couple awards.

Nicki Minaj's potential wardrobe malfunction.

While walking the carpet, Nicki had to keep hitching her dress up to avoid a nip slip.

She told La La during her red carpet interview that the only unplanned thing about her look was how POPPIN' her boobs were, because they'd made the dress' cup size too small.

"Enjoy these titties cause y’all ain't gone see it ever again," she joked.

Nicki Minaj’s #MetGala Interview pic.twitter.com/NiPgXei1m5

— THEFINEBARB (@THEFINEBARB)

KETE!!!!!

POP CULTURE EMERGENCY.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson, fresh off their red carpet debut at the White House Correspondents' dinner, arrived as some of the last people to walk the carpet (well, in Kim's case, she more... shuffled than walked).

Kim was dressed in the dress Marilyn Monroe wore when she sung Happy Birthday to JFK in 1962.

"The idea really came to me after the gala in September last year. I thought to myself, what would I have done for the American theme if it had not been the Balenciaga look? What’s the most American thing you can think of? And that’s Marilyn Monroe," she toldVogue.

She told La La on the red carpet that the dress didn't fit her when she initially tried it on, so she had to adhere to a super strict diet for three weeks.

I mean, at this point, should we really be surprised about a Kardashian talking about extreme weight loss......? but still, yikes.

Also, can I share a Kardashian conspiracy theory with you?

Firstly, here are what the other KarJens wore (all five sisters attended this year for the first time):