Warning: What you are about to see can NEVER be unseen.
Ahhh, the 1970s – the only decade that could wrap handsome men in gold and silver metallic lamé in a move that wasn’t only acceptable – it was expected.
It’s pretty clear, looking through these advertisements from that glorious decade, that those Mad Men-esque advertising agencies must have a killer time putting together the shoots.
So prepare yourself. We offer up gratuitous camel-toes and outfits with waists so high they defy gravity.
You work with what you got baby, especially when it’s this fabulous. Enjoy!
The stretch hooded terry jumpsuit.
I can’t look away and I’m not sure if it’s because of the hoodie, the belt or the fact his testicles are being torn in two.
The 'Walking Turn-on'
Please, take a moment to appreciate this amazing line of ]copy: "Fits so tight it shows all you got ...You're a walking turn-on."
Oh yeah, you are.
Tab Slit Clothing.
Men's fashion choices in the '70s were affected by the moon's phases. And the designers being high.
The regrettable undies
I'm just going to say it: those dacks on the far right were made in fabric resembling tram seat upholstery to cover any unwanted "stains".
The Lady (boner) Killer.
These guys were stylish. From the 'tash to the hybrid fedora, to what appears to be a tie-front shirt, they guys weren't messing about.
Pretty sure it's tolling for that guy's pants on the far right.
Hot damn! These men knew how to accessorise. I also like the play on words here (bell bottoms - geddit?). Well played, cool advertising agency.
I think you'll find the game is LSD.
Firstly, who the hell is Lisa? The girl maniacally playing the recorder in the background or the other chick? And secondly, please take a minute to absorb their closing line: "But if you don't want to play our way, take off your pants and go home."
Is that "thing" social exclusion?
Props to that collar though, it really is a thing of beauty.
The original hipster
Anyone else immediately think of The Bold and the Beautiful's Ridge Forrester when they look this picture? I think it's the neckerchief.
Lounge Pyjamas.
This tiger-print number meant it was almost a sure thing THIS guy was going to get lucky tonight. Unrelated: I think the world is a poorer place for not having lounge pyjamas now.
The great equaliser.
Those pants certainly leave little to the imagination. Heads up guys, sometimes a little bit of mystery is a good thing.
Double Denim
This trailblazer wasn't afraid of double denim and nor should he have been. Look how he incorporated a skivvy into his getup, too. What a dude.
The WTF.
Okay, WHAT exactly is going on here: a) Why is he wearing his hat like that and b) what are those leather pockets? Check yourself before you wreck yourself, guys.
The 'I give up on slogans' range.
Sure, the singlet/bell bottoms combo is impressive. So too the purple jumpsuit.
But my favourite part of this ad is how they just didn't even both with a slogan and just went with 'And like that'. Yeah!
The 'my eyes are up here' range.
Nope. Can't explain this. Don't even want to try. One thing to note: not to be worn on chilly days. If you know what I mean.
The 'I've given up on life' range.
It's hard to tell when these items would be at their most appropriate. Poolside? Before bed? At a karate championship?
More like the jeans that turn the dude into a soprano.
Is it just me or are these guys almost giving off a constipated vibe?
If you enjoyed this trip back in time, you might like these:
Which decade did it best? The '60s, '70s or '80s?
Top Comments
Nick Nolte anyone?