@harry to @melgreigradio: MURDERER.
That was said to me over and over again for two years and that was at the ‘nicer’ end of the scale of abuse.
So what does go through the mind of someone that takes the time to write abuse to a complete stranger? I wanted to find out so I went one-on-one with a troll and within three minutes I realised it wasn’t what I had expected.
A year ago I created ‘Troll Free Day’ a day of awareness to help combat cyber-bullying and it runs on the National Day of Awareness Against Bullying and Violence which is today Friday, March 17.
Listen: Trolling of Melania Trump continues. Enough, says Monique Bowley.
Half of cyber-bullying victims won’t tell anyone, adults are embarrassed and children are fearful that parents will shut down their social media pages. So who are they telling and how are they doing mentally? Suicide is the biggest killer of our young people. We need to talk. They need to know they’re supported.
Harry the Troll was angry after the prank call. He needed me to know that I had “killed” the nurse involved in the prank. He was angry. He didn’t think about my feelings or if I was a real person.
He looked me up on Facebook and wrote “MURDERER”. Did he think that I would see it?
No. He told me that he thought it was a fake account. It was real and I’m real.
His first words? “Well I don’t actually think you’re a murderer”. And if we were face to face would he say it? “Absolutely not”.
I told him I was emotionally destroyed and that his message and the hundred others really affected me and took a toll on my life – I nearly ended it. He was horrified.
Trolling is anonymous. They aren’t real and they don’t see you as real. Unless someone says something to your face you can’t listen to it, it can’t affect your life. You need to ignore and block it. Trolling nearly killed me because I was in a bad place and I believed what was being said to me.
Today, I know the difference between an opinion and abuse and I stand with the victims. Today we need conversations, this is the day we stand together.
Parents, please create a safe zone for your children. Let them tell you anything and everything without reaction. You can’t close down their social media accounts. You can’t talk to the teacher and you can’t talk to the bully. Just please open the gate to talk to your child.
One in three children are bullied in some capacity and if your child isn’t being bullied there might be a high chance they are the bully. Just hear them out with no repercussions.
Today is Troll Free Day and today is the day for conversation. Please show your support for cyber-bullying victims and start the conversation by posting a meme from the Troll Free Day website and listen to the Troll Free Day radio special.
If you or a loved one is suffering from depression, Mamamia urges you to contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.
Top Comments
Personally I never really understood why these radio hosts received so much blame for that prank. Obviously it went horribly wrong, but radio hosts have been doing silly pranks for years and whilst I didn't hear the prank call myself my understanding was that it wasn't done with any malice.
In any case whether or not they did the right thing, I don't think anyone envisaged that someone would kill themselves over it. And it is pretty ironic if people outraged at one person's suicide try and push another to do so.
People make mistakes all the time, and yes there are some pretty awful people in the world doing intentionally terrible things and we should call those people out on these things, but I think we need to get a bit of perspective and not go after people who are essentially nice people but made a mistake, even if that mistake resulted in drastic circumstances.
But I feel anyway that there is so much outrage going on in social media that even someone saying the most innocuous thing, e.g. "I don't orange coloured clothes" would lead to at least one person to write some kind of comment about how terrible this person was and how they are affecting the livelihood of someone selling orange clothes or how they are 'shaming' those wearing orange clothes, or some other ridiculous rubbish.
I think it is quite difficult because on one hand you are never going to stop people doing this kind of thing, the difference in real life is that you only occassionally meet crazies, but on the internet it's constant. Somehow I think every well known person has to some how become more resilient, I'm not saying that to excuse the trolls, but I don't know what else you can do about them? But I agree with Mel that if you are going through a really tough time as she was then these trolls will have a severe affect on you.
I suppose there is another related issue, many of us, including myself, are prone to criticise if we don't agree, but not that often will we praise. So for instance if someone writes 10 articles that we agree with we may not bother to comment, but if they write one thing we disagree with we may comment simply because it got us worked up. So for instance if you thought that a journalist or politician's stance on Medicare was good, but disagreed with their stance on school funding then we are liable to have a go at them without thinking that yes we are entitled to speak out when we disagree but we need to let people know also about the other issues that we agree on.
I think this being critical nature is encouraged in society, for instance when was the last time you saw anything written that praised a politician of any party? Unless it their own media unit, it is rare. If a business is consistently good but makes one mistake then they get called out on it. If a celeb makes one off colour joke then they also get called out on it.
yes there are some people who are just not nice people who need to be called out, but others are just imperfect human beings who maybe need some praise sometimes.
Hmm I may find this difficult to practice what I preach though!