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Mark Salling committed the most vile act, but think twice before you celebrate his death.

 

Before he died of an apparent suicide on Tuesday, Mark Salling pleaded guilty to one of the most inconceivable, abhorrent, disgusting crimes known to humankind.

The contents of the 35-year-old Glee actor’s computer and thumb drive – some 50,000 images of child exploitation material – actively propelled the cycle of child sex abuse forward, and that is unforgivable.

In defiling our world’s most vulnerable and precious lives, Salling earned a life of endlessly long days and nights in prison, far away from those he hurt, with nothing but the weight of his crimes to hold.

We can hate what he did. We can feel nauseated by it. But if you're rejoicing the death of a child sex offender, remember this: The death of Mark Salling does not make children safer.

For thousands of children here in Australia, the next assault is still just around the corner.

Between 2015 and 2016, the Australian Institute of Family Studies reported 5,559 children suffered sexual abuse - and those are just the ones who were in the position to file an official report. Given it takes, on average, more than 30 years for a child sex abuse victim to come forward, this number seems undoubtedly tiny; minuscule to what is a monumental issue.

A monumental issue that Australia has failed to quell for decades.

Our reluctance to stop child sex abuse is largely because doing so hinges on society accepting a terrifying reality: There is little credible evidence to suggest paedophiles like Mark Salling are 'made'. Rather, they are born. According to the University of Toronto's Dr James Cantor, who is renowned for leading the world's most sophisticated research in the area, a paedophile's brain exhibits physiological differences to the normal brain, something he describes as "a literal cross-wiring".

So, what does that mean in real life?

Research indicates between three and seven per cent of men would have sex with a prepubescent child if they were guaranteed to go undetected.

If that statistic is accurate, and further studies indicate it is, at least 362,000 Australian men feel sexually attracted to children. They might sit across from you at work. They might be beside you on the train. They might be seated at your dinner table tonight.

It's demonic and scary, but it's also the reality.

If there's one soothing reprieve, it's that being a paedophile and being a child sex offender are not one and the same. Some men born with an attraction to children commit to the life of a "non-offending paedophile", that is, someone who will never inappropriately touch a child, or engage with child pornography despite their sexual inclinations.

They are men who, despite being born with a twisted mind, want to live a virtuous life.

To protect children, we need to prevent paedophiles from offending in the first place. That means getting young men to talk about their feelings and thoughts with a loved one, and to pursue avenues of rehabilitation and therapy, that have been proven to alter child sexual offending behaviours.

It also means thinking twice before posting comments like this:

Dr Kelly Richards, a senior lecturer at Queensland University of Technology's school of justice, put it best when she told me last year: "We need to ask ourselves, 'If that was my son who came home at 13 or 14 and began thinking these thoughts, what response would I want?' We would want him to speak to someone about it... we would want him to seek professional help without fear of being an outcast."

We would want our sons to get help before they destroy the innocent life of a child - before they become the next Mark Salling.

Child sex abuse survivor Manny Waks, who testified before the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse in 2016, told Mamamia last year “we need to talk about it and keep talking about it."

Redressing the language we use around paedophilia would be a good start, says Waks, who was assaulted while attending Melbourne's Yeshivah Centre when he was 11.

"It's not good to say 'lock them up and throw away the key' or 'shoot them all'.

"I can understand the passion and the anger, and all the emotions attached to such a sensitive and controversial issue, but it causes significant damage."

The more we revile those 362,000 people, the more we post those vitriolic comments, the more men stay silent. The more they sink into the shadows, and retreat from society, the less likely they are to get help. The less hope for a normal life they see, the more they disengage.

And when paedophiles disengage? The more likely they are to offend.

What Mark Salling did makes my skin crawl with contempt. I am so ferociously angry that young lives were abused in such a cruel way. The child sex abusers like him deserve no sympathy. None at all.

We all have a joint aim here: To keep children safe. So let's start by preventing child sexual abuse from happening in the first place; let's create an environment where the men who harbour these feelings can speak up and get help.

We owe it to today's victims, who we've already failed to protect.

You can read my 2017 cover story, where I spoke with psychologists, legal experts, non-offending paedophiles, and victims about how to prevent child sexual abuse here.

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Top Comments

Lesley Graham 6 years ago

As an observer with counselor training, I've done enough research, including the series by British filmmaker Louis Theroux, who filmed in some of the US's most notorious jails, he talked to a number of paedophiles it was clear that in a number of cases that there was a predisposed nature towards this type of behaviour. I would suggest though that in most cases their needs to often be a catalyst that will set off this particular drive. As stated there are people who though their brains are in some ways twisted they don't act on these inclinations. So I would suggest that people need to recognise that when these predilections are triggered, what they may be & how to prevent the damage to the youngsters that are used & manipulated by those that have the temerity to put them in harms way, just so that they can make money off of their young innocent lives.
I read research quite recently saying that those that have been either abused sexually as young children or exposed to adult behaviours ie pornography or witnessing sexuall or clearly sexualised behaviour at an extremely young age can often trigger, this type of behaviour in them as an adult.
Unfortunately there is still very little understanding around how this behaviour starts, which makes the treatment of it problematic at best. Especially as by the time these offenders get into therapy they are often past the stage of saving them from themselves & their sick desires.
In respect of Mark Salling, he was obviously a very troubled individual from the start, I would suggest that in the next few weeks in the desire to dig up more of his past the media will find out much of what (maybe) had been kept in the dark, (though he isn't alive to defend himself) (as I wonder if the Glee production people were aware of his dark & difficult past or behaviour) along with all those associated with it, which as we probably know covering up is a common practice in Hollywood.
Unfortunately Hollywood has a history of employing troubled but talented people to star in their movies & productions. I believe that Mark's troubled life may be (if his family permits) be a benefit, if they are able to look at his brain etc to help add to the little information that has been gleaned from previous postmortems. I refuse to condemn or feel much in the way of empathy towards him, I believe that he was unwell & this was what made him behave in this way, but also he was a very complex individual struggling with life constantly under the spotlight on the negative actions, that were the result of whatever diagnosed/undiagnosed psychiatric illness he was struggling with.
I would also suggest that more people knew his truth, than is apparent. Its clear that it these people should have tried to get him help before this whole situation got out of control & this scandal had engulfed his life, as he took it at such a young age.
The star system to me is a real problem especially in respect of those that have mental illness or may be more inclined to develop one, RIP Mark.


Python 6 years ago

Like so many others I too am utterly disgusted with pedophilia and apparently you Michelle are as well. So, allow me to ask you a question - what is your opinion on the Safe Schools "Anti-Bullying" Program? If you are all for it then I strongly suggest you read the following: -

http://unsafeschools.org/th...

https://billmuehlenberg.com...

Max 6 years ago

I suggets you loosen that tin hat, buddy.

Salem Saberhagen 6 years ago

I strongly suggest you stop reading discredited links from extremist sources, because you are not getting the truth at all. You are being brainwashed with extremist lies.