This post deals with rape and could be triggering for some readers.
In a heartbreaking Reddit thread, men have opened up about what it’s really like to be a male victim of rape.
Most of the men revealed people often don’t take them seriously as a victim of sexual assault and that they struggle to find the support they so desperately need.
One was raped by a grown man when he was just 12 years old; the offender also made his son watch the sexual assault.
“I mention these details because every single aspect of healthy male sexuality is scrambled for me, even now at 30. Things are better now, but if I’m too passive, or too horny, or too surprised by any sexual situation, my mind will flash back to that afternoon and I’ll either relive it through my own eyes or be terrified of resembling the predator dad.”
Another revealed 'no one takes him seriously' and that he continues to be haunted by the assault.
"Once a year I obsessively try to keep tabs on him. For 24 hours it just sits in my brain until I do it. This last time I found out he moved back into the area. He's a convicted rapist too, but I didn't know that originally," he wrote.
"Also a sociopath, there's a literal transcript of him trying to get take off the sex offender registry where both the court expert and his own expert said he's either socially naive or without remorse."
Another user who was 'raped multiple times as a child' admitted it affects every aspect of their life and they've never had a real friend.
"I'm constantly aware of it in a college environment and usually go to bed highly suicidal."
One Redditor was molested by his brother's older friend several times when he was 11 years old. As a gay adult he is hesitant to tell people about the abuse because he's worried they'll think the situation "made" him gay.
"Ironically after it happened I remember running up to my room and crying from relief because I did not like it, and thought that meant I was straight... Turns out I just didn't like rape."
Another believes he'll always be treated like it was his own fault.
"They will tell you that if you got hard you must have liked it. They will tell you you are a 'man' and you should have liked it. Or my favourite, when I'm told that its not a big deal because its worse for a woman and completely invalidated."
Listen: The rape 'joke' that started a media storm. (Post continues after podcast.)
Another Redditor was raped by a woman but discovered that no one believed him because he was 'bigger' and 'stronger'.
He also found people thought he must have enjoyed it because he didn't press charges.
Another man shared a similar story, writing: "No one believes it's even possible, let alone that male survivors need support."
"My ex used the threat of her filing a false rape claim in order to get sex from me and anyone I reveal this to simply laughs it off - because men want sex all the time and can't be raped, right?"
The thread was posted yesterday and it has already received over 2000 comments.
Top Comments
gee I just had a bit of a read of that, and there are some terrible stories. Also it seems as if there isn't many resources for male rape victims? Though I'm not sure what country this is situated in. I actually have little knowledge of what resources are available for women let alone men, but I think it is an area that definitely needs addressed. Imagine going through that and having no where to turn to, to help you recover.
I have often wondered if men who are raped by other men is the silent epidemic that we don't hear of much, unfortunately we know about some of the institutional situations such as with the Catholic church, so it may also be prevalent elsewhere for all we know.
Another issue I have wondered about is whether it is common for adult men to be raped by other men (other than prison scenario where sadly it seems like it is common). I can imagine that some if a guy is walking through a park late at night and another man is lurking and stronger that it could happen. I just don't know if that is common, because I don't think I have ever heard of it happening, but surely it must have? If men rape women then there must be some men rape adult men too.
I must say though I find the concept of a woman raping a man difficult to get my mind around. But there was an Australian movie years ago (book of revelations? I think it was called) that was very well done on this subject. It may be upsetting for some of these guys to watch but it may also be somewhat cathartic for them to see a similar story told on screen.