To mark the National Day of Action against Bullying and ViolenceLisa Wilkinson spoke on The Today Show about bullying and her own extremely traumatic experiences. Almost impossible to watch without crying.
A couple of years ago Lisa appeared on the cover of The Australian Women’s Weekly to speak out for the first time about the horrendous physical and mental bullying that she endured from a bunch of girls in her high school. For four years.
Here’s how interviewer Lee Tulloch wrote it in AWW…..
As Lisa tells it, a new girl arrived at school at the beginning of Year 9. “My dad always taught me that if somebody new arrives, you always go and look after them, and make sure they’re okay. I did with this girl, but suddenly, after about a month, she just turned on me. Her boyfriend decided he liked me, although I had no idea who he was. Bullies rarely have a very good reason for doing what they do. They pick on others to feel better about themselves.”By Year 10, several of her girlfriends had left school, so without a good support base, she was left further exposed to the bullying. The dynamics of the schoolyard changed. “There were a couple of occasions where I was the girl in the centre, with every other kid in the playground calling out, ‘Fight, fight, fight!’ ”
On one occasion, she went to a Sherbet concert and a girl punched her “fair and square with a right hook”. She came home from the concert with a “massive” black eye. “I didn’t know how to stand up for myself,” Lisa says, regretfully. “I just wanted to disappear.”
Lisa, who had always been a good student, lost focus. “You don’t want to be the first one to put your hand up when you know the answer to the question in class, you don’t want to stand out, you don’t want to shine because that can be threatening to the class bully, so I just pulled back in every area,” she says.
As a consequence, she managed to complete her Higher School Certificate, but it was an “okay pass that wasn’t anything to write home about”, she admits.
In many ways, it was the “okay pass”, rather than the bullying, that has driven Lisa’s adult life. “I was whipping myself that I hadn’t tried harder. And I think there was a part of me that said, right, I’ve got to make up for it.”
Lisa had decided she wanted to get into the media and that television was her first love, inspired by Brian Henderson reading the six o’clock news and Mike Willesee’s A Current Affair.
On becoming a journalist, Lisa says, she decided she had to make up for the fact that she didn’t have a great HSC. “I wanted to get into the media, but I lived way out in Campbelltown, I didn’t go to private school, so I didn’t have any old school tie to fall back on and I had no contacts anywhere. So I thought I’m going to have to make up for that in sheer hard work. I put my head down and my bum up, and worked hard.”
After a stint on a secretarial course, she won a coveted job as Girl Friday on Dolly magazine. Two years later, she was appointed the editor at age 21. You could say she made up for it in record time.
The awareness of bullying today is so huge (and rightly so) but it wasn’t back then which is why she suffered in silence like so many bullying victims do. Lisa was also very keen to insist that the fact she has become successful should not in any way be used an excuse by bullies to justify or diminish the impact of their horrendous actions.
As a child, a parent or an adult, have you had an experience with bullying? How did you handle it? Does it help when someone like Lisa comes out and talks about it?
If bullying, harassment, discrimination or violence are happening at school, it’s important to report the behaviour to someone who can help. This is not ‘dobbing’!
If you need help outside of school hours – or just need someone to talk to please call Lifeline on 131 114 or Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800. Or go to the Kids Help Line or Lifeline websites.
Top Comments
I was bullied during high school for several different reasons: I was a good student so was hated for that. I had appalling acne throughout high school so pizza face and other highly original names were thrown my way. And I also dared to stand up for a younger kid once who was being bullied, which earned me months of abuse at school and in the letterbox at home. Luckily I had some good friends and that helped me through it. Feel like the experience made me stronger at least.
Children are not Adults the messages are jumbled. So how the bullying is handled is important.
Hormones and the frontal lobe are what effects our childrens reactions and feelings. Hormones kick in big time around 9 years old in girls and about 11 years in boys. This was a good thing when we were hunter gathers, which is why we are all still around.
It's natural for our children to be competitive and to react without thinking, after all we were designed for lots physical activity.
lack of physical activitiy, co ed schooling, social media, hormones,lack of frontal lobe development, family problems, school achevement presures, are a potent cocktail.
The development of the frontal lobe in males occures at 25 years old, so when you see a young person doing something dangerous, stupid or being aggressive and you say: what are you doing that for, you could hurt yourself or someone else.
(They have no idea what you are talking about because empathy and reasoning have not developed.)
So if you have an issue to disuss with your child, pick a quite time, don't yell or accuse, talk problems through, don't nag, just give them time to think it through, so their brain can unjumble and process the message.
I am happy to say that my two childrens frontal lobes and hormone have now maturared and we have been through all of this and come out the other side. It's not all doom and gloom. Encourage your children to look to the positives in themselves and in other people.
For the Mums and Dads set an example, don't stand at the front gate of the school or talk in front of the children about other children or parents invite all children to birthday parties because, exclusion is also bullying.