Kylie Jenner may or may not be pregnant, and there’s a reason that news might be upsetting for women in their 30s.
It’s called the ‘Fertility Industrial Complex’, and it’s a thing that’s affecting some of Girls creator, Lena Dunham’s friends.
“A solid 10 friends texted me triggered by Kylie pregnancy. I’m like ‘ladies she’s 20. We were all v fertile then, we were just broke.’,” the 31-year-old posted on Twitter.
“You know the fertility industrial complex has pushed us too far when we’re trying to stay neck in neck w/ reality stars who can’t drink yet.”
We should note her use of the term ‘triggered’ is likely not meant to be taken 100 per cent literally, but it’s almost an appropriate word for the way women who are struggling with their fertility feel when they hear that any celebrity – or friend, or sister, or colleague – is pregnant when they are not.
And whether that celebrity is 20 or 41, there will be a reason that the news feels particularly like a twisting knife to them. Regrets that they ‘should’ve done it sooner’ or anger that the older woman ‘is making it look easy’ make baby news far from a simple exchange of information for many women.
“The message of ‘hurry up ladies, hurry up ladies tick tock tick tock… has been told so many times,” Mamamia’s Head of Content, Holly Wainwright similarly said of this notion on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast in response to Camilla Franks’ pregnancy at 41.
“I work with all these young women and they’re all worried about their fertility… 26-year-old women going and getting their eggs checked, everybody’s freaking out about it.
“There’s this idea that [deciding when to have a baby] is this big choice out there, there are all these women in their early thirties feeling stressed and bullied by the idea that you’ve gotta hurry up and have a baby.”
You can listen to Holly, Mia and Jessie’s heated debate below…
While some thought it wasn’t Dunham’s place to comment on another woman’s pregnancy entirely, others identified themselves as experiencing the feeling she described.
“Lol I am a little jealous of the 20-year-old,” a follower replied to Dunham’s tweet. “I’m 37 and it’s probably never gonna happen, ” one commented on the post.
“As 30 yr. old single woman who’s hoping to start a family soon, I couldn’t agree more!” wrote another.
Regardless of whether you agree with Dunham’s decision to comment on Jenner’s pregnancy, it is a reality that when you’re struggling to conceive, it can be hard to hear pregnancy news. Which is why, if you’re lucky, you’ve got a friend to text your feelings to.
Top Comments
I struggled with infertility for 2 years and am now about to pop with a baby conceived via IUI. I used to really begrudge other women when they got pregnant, especially with their 2nd or more baby, and it was actually a comment on a post on this very website that changed my thinking. Someone said to me that their fertility has no bearing on mine, so how could I possibly hold it against them? I can't remember who it was, but I hope they're reading this so they know how much they opened my eyes and my heart to how selfish my attitude was at times.
Lovely news Keyla! Good luck!
Thank you :)
It seems that some people struggling with fertility genuinely can't feel happy when someone else gets what they want - it's like they think there is a finite number of babies and every time someone else has one it decreases their own chances. And that's pretty sad, really, and suggests they need a lot more support.