A mother has shared a heartbreaking story in response to claims that when it comes to young children’s birthday parties, everyone should be invited.
Sharing her tale on parenting forum mumsnet, the commentor explained why she had intentionally left one of her daughter’s classmates off the invite list.
“Those of you who say never exclude any child from a class party. Not even one and not even if they are a bully – you’re wrong, in my opinion and based on my experience,” she wrote in the now-deleted post.
She said her daughter was “bullied so severely”, with the attacks starting when her child was in nursery school.
“It started in nursery. With hitting, spitting, shoving and not letting anyone speak to my child.
“By primary it had moved to excluding my child and pushing them off seats in the dinner hall. Then it moved to an attack with a rope.”
Despite moving schools to avoid the bully, the children were reunited in secondary school when two schools merged.
The attacks then escalated, the mother - known only by the name Ercoldiningchair - said, sharing her child had her "face [smashed] into the pavement" and was also filmed changing clothes before PE.
The police became involved and the bully was prosecuted and expelled.
After watching her daughter endure years of torment, the mother said there was "no way" she would invite every member of a class just to keep the peace.
"To hear people on here say all kids should be included to a party is just wrong," she said.
"How would it make my child feel to have their bully in my house at a party?
"It would seriously have damaged my child immensely and I would have been letting down my child not to support them... How could I have looked my child in the face having that other child there?"
Despite the heartbreaking story, some users still believed that if the whole class was invited, everyone - including bullies - should be allowed to attend.
LISTEN: Is 'pinch and a punch' a harmless game or does it encourage violence?
"I agree that no child should ever have to invite their bully to their party," one person responded.
"I'd also say...deliberate exclusion of one child is pretty cruel and I don't think an adult should sanction it in any circumstances."
Another user shared their own story of feeling 'forced' to invite their tormentor to a birthday celebration.
"In my first year of school my mum made me have the whole class invited to my party, I didn't want to invite one girl because she was a horrible bully," the user wrote.
"My mum made me invite her as it 'wasn't nice to leave people out' but this little girl just tried to ruin the party.
"Ripping all the layers off pass the parcel in one go, tipping food on the floor, trying to get other children not to dance or join in with games, presents had to be hidden...
"My mum says now she wishes she had left her out."
LISTEN to the latest episode of Mamamia's parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess:
Top Comments
In that case don't invite the whole class, just friends. We did invite the child who our son thought was a bully, to a whole class party, but with lots of entertainment -a movie at the cinema, they didn't have time to do anything disruptive and were actually v well behaved.
“Heartbreaking” for who? Mum stood up for her bullied daughter (go Mum!) and the horrid child who made her daughter’s life a misery missed out. Too freaking bad for the bully and Mum protected their home as a sanctuary for her daughter.