There is some serious tension between Ukraine and Russia right now and amid reports the two countries may be on the brink of an all-out war, only one man has the skills and bravery to shut the whole thing down.
Kevin. Michael. Rudd.
Someone needs to tell Ukrainian citizens to ignore those uninvited and violent Russian troops just a little longer – cos K-Rudd himself is on the case.
Even though he no longer represents any country in an official capacity, when Kev got word that things were spiralling out of control over in Europe, he knew what he had to do.
Armed with the knowledge that he is pretty much the only man on earth with the ability to nip this whole ‘war’ business in the bud, he selflessly jumped on a plane and zipped straight into Russia, where The West Australian reports that he plans to meet with some of President Vladimir Putin’s ‘top advisors’.
So stand down, concerned international community; K-Rudd, the one-man peace machine, has got this.
Ever the skilled diplomat, Rudd is even making sure that he gets no credit for his inevitable role in curtailing the epic crisis. His spokesperson is flat-out denying all his heroic involvement. Apparently, Rudd’s Moscow trip was ‘planned months ago’ (WINK) and he’s actually in Moscow to attend some ‘think-tanks’ (WINK) about ‘China’ (WINK). He also happens to be swinging by Ukraine next week to go to some ‘conferences’ (WINK WINK).
We’ll keep you updated as reports of his selfless one-man diplomatic mission to Russia come flowing in. But for now, we’ll leave you with the immortal words of Kevin Rudd’s very first public press conference, which he’ll no doubt open his Russian crisis talks with:
“Hi, I’m Kevin. I’m from Queensland. I’m here to help.”
Top Comments
This article hardly sounds like a pisstake. As mistaken as I may or may not be, I interpreted this written word as a fist-bump for an Australian who had the choice to just sit home on his politician's pension, or help the world if and where he can.
It's simple: if Russia dun want his help, they'd tell him to sod off. And Russia needs a lot of help at the moment.
You have got to be joking......or are you just one of those deluded Australians who believe that the world revolves around Canberra?
The expression about mammaries on a bull comes to mind.
I've just had a quick read at your comments on other articles. You seem to have a lot of negative, and generally unhelpful things to say about any matter. I'm sorry you don't seem to believe in people.
I don't know what you're trying to achieve by posting this. Yeah, KRudd is a bit of a dork and he's said and done some things that were wrong. But if he is heading to Russia to try to stop a war, why oh why is that something to make fun of? Just because he's not officially representing Australia doesn't mean he can't have any influence. For all we know Kevin Rudd might me good pals with Vladmir Putin.