If Instagram has taught us one thing, it’s this: Give humans a place to freely communicate with pictures alone, and they will inevitably fill it with tits and arse.
What started out as a sweet little photo-sharing app for sunsets and smiles has turned into a cesspit of desperate vanity.
If humanity had a collective photo album, it’d be filled with sexy selfies, duck-face group pics, cleavage close-ups, pole dancing shots, and naked famous arses.
And I don’t like what that says about us. Do you?
Look, this isn’t a rant about naked famous arses. We’ve long passed the point where we can stop Kim Kardashian or Rihanna sharing their rumps with millions of followers.
What troubles me is the influence these bared bottoms, pouts, and cleavage chasms have on ordinary people and the way they perceive themselves. And how they want their friends, family, and strangers to perceive them.
These are the unspoken rules of Instagram now: You must look hot at all times. You must appear bang-able no matter what the context. You must shove sex appeal into every photograph, regardless of whether it’s appropriate, tactful, or sensical. You must seize every possible opportunity to showcase your cleavage, tan thighs, bikini bod, bodacious booty, and Bambi eyes.
The imperative, above all else, is to compile photographic evidence of your attractiveness.
Maybe this is to do with our primal desire to be desired. I’m not immune to that desire; I’ve posted a casual elevator selfie in my time and secretly waited for validation via the ‘likes’ of my friends and randoms.
But I call bullshit on people making every single activity sexy – whether it’s attending a funeral, going out with girlfriends, hanging at home, or spending time with family.
Without naming names (because we’re all in this crazed state of shameless vanity together), I call bullshit on the following:
Sharing a photo taken in your bathroom of you in a completely see-through red lace dress with no underwear, when you know your colleagues will see it. Doing a cutesy sex-pout in a revealing designer outfit on your way to a memorial. Using a sneaky app to Photoshop a busty shot of you boxing at the gym with a full face of make-up. Sticking your butt out at the camera in a slinky, backless gown but including a caption about remembering a dead friend, because #meaningful.
If we’re going do it, let’s own it.
If we’re going to descend into an obsessive, permanent state of vanity, let’s at least be upfront about it.
I propose a simple hashtag. From now on, if you cannot ignore the urge to share photos of your body or your outfit or your perfect face for no other reason than to show off, include #vanity. Because if we’re going to slather our physical appearance with importance like this, let’s at least be real about it.
We’ve made a start on behalf of these celebrities and random sexy strangers. Now, it’s over to you. Every time you chose a photo to satisfy your own need to be desired, own up to your moment of #vanity. And while you’re at it, keep others accountable too. Pop a #vanity on anyone who indulges in a bit of ego-stroking via Instagram.
Let’s spread this hashtag like bonfire.
Yep. For the literary nerds out there, I’m about to drop get off my soap box, drop my microphone and end on a Bonfire of the Vanities reference. Kate OUT.
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Top Comments
Instagram is an inherently narcissistic app. What's wrong with that? Don't follow these people if you don't like this side of social media.
No I call bullshit.
What's wrong with thinking we are worth looking at? We are expected to constantly work at being beautiful but not appear to be doing so. Then after years or decades of learning to love ourselves we find a glimmer of self esteem and post some selfies only to be told we're vain or up ourselves. And you wonder why we have body image problems? #reclaimingtheselfie
Promote even more narcissism amongst young girls you reacon
There is a difference between having a healthy self esteem and confidence to begging for attention to keep said high self esteem filled. If selfies are where you get your confidence dose from, then I can only feel sorry for you.
No need to feel sorry for me, but thanks anyway. Body image is an incredibly complex issue and if posting a photo where you feel great about yourself is a crime then I think we are being overly critical. It's saying, love yourself, but don't you dare tell anyone that you do. that's messed up. As for #vanity that's incredibly stupid considering how vulnerable young people are. A healthy body image is fantastic and if you are happy with yourself that's great! But no need to shoot down others who are proudly displaying theirs. Sexualised images are different, but most selfies are harmless fun, not narcissism.
As opposed to shoot down their confidence with cyber bullying? Yes.