A concerned wife has turned to the anonymous forums of Reddit after she says she discovered her husband’s long message history with his best friend’s wife.
The 22-year-old told readers her husband, 26, is open about them speaking but doesn’t disclose everything they say in messages.
“I can’t help but be slightly curious as to what they have to talk about, so I went through his messages with her and oftentimes they talk about me and what’s ‘wrong’ with me,” she wrote.
“For instance he would say ‘she’s mad’ and she would reply, ‘when is she not mad?'”
“It was sometimes about how I never, ‘put out’ when he wants me to, it upset me pretty bad.”
The woman went on to share her suspicion that a recent message was linked to an unusual post on social media.
"She declared him her 'best friend' in a message one day and being emotional af (weeks later) she posted a status on Facebook that says this,'Many people are friends best friend, only one' and removed it after about 10 minutes... which is totally sketchy to me," she wrote.
The worried spouse said that although she had her own insecurities, she truly believed something more than friendship was being exchanged.
"I admit I am a jealous person, and I am very insecure, but I also know how females can be. I can't help but think the worst will happen," she wrote.
"I honestly believe she sees my husband as more than a friend - that's just how it looks to me."
Monogamy isn't for everyone. Listen to a few thoughts on what it's like to be 'monogam-ish'. Post continues after audio.
The post ended with a request for readers to suggest how she could approach her husband about the situation.
"This is an emotional affair. Your husband shouldn't be talking bad about you to another woman. It's clear the woman is disenfranchised with her own relationship and is latching onto your husband. Your husband is leading her on further and isn't making things better by putting you down in front of this woman," one commenter wrote.
"I think she wants to f-ck him but I think he's just being friendly and isn't aware. He also just seems like he appreciates being able to vent to a female perspective, just for the sake of venting," another wrote.
The outcome is yet to be shared by the original poster.
Top Comments
Honestly if she is that worried about it, why not just talk to her husband about it? It's obvious the two are involved in an emotional affair, but she needs to have a heart to heart with him before it becomes a physical one. If he feels he cannot vent to his own wife then there are obviously some deep seeded problems there that they need to address. Problem is on both sides, not just her. Communication people! It works.
I have a married mate who was always under the threat of, "we will go and see a marriage counsellor". One day it came to pass as he decided for once to dig in. Turned up, female counsellor of course as he rolled his eyes. About an hour later the counsellor declared, look, I've listened to you both, I don't normally do this as it's not my role to be some kind of marriage judge, but I have to say, I think Jeff is right.
So things changed, now he is happy to offer to go back to the counsellor when his wife has a new issue. Maybe the counsellor was incredibly smart, or maybe it was just fate, but things got better. In this case she is the one going through his phone and she admits to being needy. Women tend to put far more thinking into their relationships than men do, probably because women tend to be better at them. She should step up, not skulk around.
I'm glad your friend got things worked out. I have never understood people who do things like this, maybe because I'm the kind of person that if I see an issue, I will confront the person. My husband is the same way, neither of us beat around the bush or let things simmer on the back burner, we deal with it immediately, it saves both of us a lot of stress and no yelling.
the fact that she's 22 says a lot to me I'm afraid - she's obviously insecure, but it's bullshit like this that make women insecure i.e. husbands/partners talking about them and their relationship to other women !!
She needs to put her foot down and confront the husband, the friend and his wife all together and tell them no more or all of the relationships are over - at 22 she has many many many married years ahead and WHY would you want to be married and have an eventual family with a man who tells other women that you're mad?? The 'friend ' is loving the attention from a husband who is not her own and is getting off on hearing about how another woman is not as good as her.