You know what’s hard? Fitting in at Gucci when your outfit is 101 per cent Cotton On.
Now, that’s not a diss — Cotton On is the single greatest thing to ever happen to my wardrobe. It just makes it tricky to convince the Gucci sales assistant you’re interested in $650 ballerina flats when you’re head-to-toe in a polyester T-shirt dress.
Luckily, one snooping shopper who delights in browsing in stores way out of her budget has shared her top tips for ~fitting in with the rich people~
And.
They’re.
GLORIOUS.
Writer and general funny person Anna Fitzpatrick shared her ingenious tips on Twitterland this week.
TwitterWith a big ol' coffee from a super indie (read: pretentious) cafe in hand, you must do the following:
"Walk with purpose. Enter the store, skip the handbag section (come on, that is 101), go straight for the clothes at the back."
When there (and this is very important), Anna advises you do not say you are just browsing, but instead are in the area for a tres important meeting.
"'I'm probably pushing it,' you add, 'But I can’t help it. I just love the way Alessandro is breathing new life into the label.' I promise you this will cause the salesperson to go off with how important Alessandro’s vision is."
(Alessandro Michele is Gucci's creative director. Don't worry, I didn't know that either.)
Listen: The women's fashion research absolutely nobody asked for. (Post continues after audio.)
“You don’t need to add anything, just nod along significantly and go ‘mhmm’ and ‘YES’ as if you are grateful to find someone who can finally appreciate what you’ve always been saying."
After thumbing through the clothes, pretending you've seen it all before, Anna has another tip:
“Sigh and shake your head and say, 'Ugh Tomás would positively kill me if I come home with another sequinned bomber.’ DO NOT EXPLAIN WHO TOMAS IS, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
“Then lean in like you are sharing a secret and say, ‘But let me tell you, I was just looking at the photos from Milan, and when that Fall collection hits stores…’ chuckle to yourself and shake your head like you can’t even believe yourself."
The final touch? Say you must leave immediately, as you are late for your very important meeting.
"Thank the salesperson and tell them you’ll ‘see them soon'."
Nailed it.
What tips do you have for browsing in shops you have no intention in buying from?
Follow Anna Fitzpatrick on Twitter here.
Top Comments
Why would you pretend? Most upscale places have a reputation for being happy for you to check out their stuff. Even if its just aspirational now, this could change and a good experience in store is likely to bring you back.
This is the thing I hate about shopping in designer stores. Even though I may have designer pieces on me like a wallet, watch, sunglasses and handbag. The attitude from some sales assistants really get to me. The worst treatment I got was from Tiffany and Co in Melbourne CBD even though my husband and I walked in wearing 4 items of Tiffany jewlerry collectively (engagement ring, both our wedding rings and earrings). I'd like to think my appearance doesn't play a role but sometimes I think it does (I have dark skin, bigger build, frizzy hair and I hardly wear make up) but that shouldnt matter. If I can afford to shop there that's all the should matter.