When I was 13, I got my first pair of hips.
At first I was excited, because I knew this meant I was on my way to boob-town. Unfortunately, my hips really took off and my breasts have been struggling to keep up ever since.
Although I have come to peace with my larger bottom half (when I realised there was no diet or plastic surgery that could reduce the bone that had grown there), I have had to adjust to a world where big hips are a daily struggle.
Through this struggle I have realised that I am not the only one. This is a definitive list of all the daily problems us big hipped women are faced with. All you apple, hourglass and straight up and down body types, take note.
1. You are always banging them on furniture when you misjudge their size.
2. You have to buy bikini bottoms and tops separately.
And even then, the top will be slightly too loose, and the bottom just a tad too tight.
3. You are always told they are “child bearing hips”.
Thank you?
4. Squeezing past other people in an aisle is near impossible without hitting them with your hips.
5. A skirt will never stay put, and will instead swivel on your hips or ride up and up and up.
6. Jeans are always big on your waist but tight on your hips.
7. Shopping consultants be like: “this is a good shape for you.. it really balances out your bottom half.”
Thank you, but NOTHING will balance out my bottom half.
8. You can’t wear shift dresses.
9. Seeing any woman with hips in the media makes you fist pump for equal representation.
And intensely scrutinise what they’re wearing so you can finally work out what clothes suit you.
Thank goodness for Mad Men, because now that we have Joan Holloway representing us, big hips just got a whole lot more in vogue.
I know these aren’t the only problems big hipped women have, do you have any other problems that your body type faces?
Top Comments
The funniest thing that was ever said to me about my hips was from my aunt, just six or so months ago. For context, I'm a fifteen year old Chinese girl and she is in her early sixties. She joked that if I had been born in my grandparent's or even in her day, the moment I left the house, there'd probably be a whole crowd of old women demanding their sons marry me. Basically, she said I had perfect birthing hips - not even my (much older) cousins' fitted dresses can fit me around the hips.
My friend, a fellow history student, added on to the joke by saying that my family would have had a bidding war on their hands, from all the wannabe grandparents trying to get me into their family by offering bigger and bigger bride prices. My parents would've made a fortune just marrying me off to the highest bidder.
It's slightly messed up, but it still makes me laugh.
I am wedding dress shopping at the moment and I am so sick of assistants taking one look at my pear shape and assuming I will want an A line to disguise my lower half. I don't know about other pears- but A lines actually make me look big and frumpy and more ugly stepsister than Cinderella. But the sales assistants can't get their heads around that for some reason.
At one place I just about had to force the lady to let me try on a fishtail and guess what? It was the best one I had tried on all day. Only problem is that now I don't want to buy it from her out of spite!
SunnyBunny, that is EXACTLY my experience. I ended up buying a mermaid silhouette and it looked far better (kind of sassy and kardashian-y... in a good way..) than my a huge mirangue skirt. It was weird how many shop assistants seemed to think it was really necessary to "balance everything out" like having hips was a deformity or something! - Grace