politics

Attention: we finally know what was REALLY under Hillary Clinton's jacket, and it's not good.

Stop absolutely everything you are doing because NEWSFLASH! Hillary Clinton is not a human being. She is an evil, cheating robot lady.

You see, the Democratic candidate’s cocktail of lies spilled when TV viewers caught a glimpse of her leaning over during the first debate.

See that? Near the lower left-hand corner?

Yep, I'm talking about that boxy, evil-looking bulge. That, dear reader friends, means life as you know it is about to capitulate.

Top secret true story: If you put your face right up to the screen, tilt your head at a sharp angle and roll your eyes really hard, you can see the shape of an Illuminati triangle appear followed by 67 dancing elves and the local librarian.

I know. It's terrifying.

If that wasn't scary enough, remember the fact that Hillary Clinton doesn't even LOOK presidential. (Translation: Hillary Clinton doesn't look like she's an orange rich man.)

How people think this woman can be president I have absolutely no idea. I mean, she's a woman. Have we all gone mad?

It's preposterous. It's ridiculous. It's negligent... kinda like letting a glorified reality TV host who has a penchant for pageants and the political knowledge of a sock become the leader of the free world.

Anyway.

Trump fans don't buy my whole 'dancing Illuminati elves theory' because my dumb ovaries keep making me think all woman-like and stoopid. So instead, I'll pass the literary microphone over to them:

It's a microphone pack coughing prevention machine AND an earpiece. Duh.

If you haven't heard of a 'cough prevention machine', you clearly didn't have the cough-free childhood Trump supporters had. God bless you, wizardly machines and your asthma-curing ways! How trained doctors have not heard of thee I will never know.

But let's not get bogged down by facts and truth.

See that smaller, rectangle shape higher on Hillary's back?

Now THAT'S just her bra clasp the sneaky earpiece. I know it might seem weird that Clinton has an earpiece on her back... but... yeah.  That's where it is and that's what happened. Now stop asking questions and think about making America great again some more.

Obviously, 'Bikers 4 Trump' are the most significant, important group in US political history, so I highly advise we all take on board what they think and say.

Because who else would spout the flawless logic that even though #TrumpWon, Clinton totez cheated and NBC is responsible.

You know it makes (absolutely zero) sense.

So I'm just gonna leave this here...

Someone please wake me up when this nightmare ends.

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Top Comments

Rush 8 years ago

She's actually one of the reptillian lizard people. That's the zipper of her 'Hillary' suit showing through. Duh.

Guest5 8 years ago

What do you think it actually is?

Rush 8 years ago

It's a fucking microphone pack. The bloody thing is pinned to the lapel of her jacket. Don't be a dillhole. You can troll better than that!


osha 8 years ago

Those tweets from Biker's 4 Trump just confirms to me how stupid and ignorant his supporters can be. Marc Maron on his WTF podcast has given the best explanation of why some Americans plan to vote for Trump - by doing so, they are giving one giant finger to the establishment of America - dang the consequences. These are scary times, indeed.

Guest5 8 years ago

That's great. I'm sure there's an explaination for what's under her top, maybe when we are all finished laughing at such a funny attempt at humour, we can answer a simple question, what is it? Has the DNC, known for its fairness and honesty, just ask Bernie or Wikileaks, explained what it is? Have they commented on the Trump - Clinton forum where she was photographed wearing an ear piece?

Finally, should you call Trump supporters stupid and ignorant when you deny what's before your own eyes in the picture?

osha 8 years ago

It's connected to her microphone. End of story. Your candidate lost the debate because he was woefully underprepared and lacks intelligence, composure and the ability to make a coherent and reasonable argument.

Margaret 8 years ago

Man come on are you really that dumb or just an act. She's wearing a microphone. It a microphone pack. Dah!