This post originally appeared on Our Parallel Connection. You can read the original post here.
The first rule of parenting multiple children is to never admit you have a favourite child. Apparently, it is not appropriate as it might cause a rift in the family or affect the other children’s self-esteem. Well, I believe there is nothing wrong with having a favourite child and you should never be afraid to let your children know exactly who the favourite is.
When a woman has her first baby, she is madly in love and the child becomes the centre of her world. This child can do no wrong and anyone who says a bad word about them had better start running, fast. Her husband moves down the pecking order and so do her favourite girlfriends. Hey, she is a mum and this precious little being deserves her undivided attention. Until…
"The next baby comes along. She had forgotten how beautiful a little baby is to hold." Photo source: iStock
The next baby comes along. She had forgotten how beautiful a little baby is to hold and how sweet they smell. The softness of her baby's skin against hers brings back overwhelming memories of becoming a mother.
Now she looks at her stinky toddler, constantly demanding attention and screaming if they do not get their own way. Her toddler now looks enormous compared to her baby and the size of its poop is often scary. Whenever her toddler is awake, life seems too chaotic, rarely calm like when they were a baby. Today she has a favourite child but she would never admit it out loud.
By the time baby number three comes along, she realises that her affections have moved again. The older two seem to do more wrong than right. They are either fighting with each other, creating a mess that takes hours to get back in order or refusing to eat the healthy and delicious meals she has taken time away from her baby to prepare. Her favourite child has changed and she is starting to think she is a bad mum as her guilt settles in.
Mothers confess their secret favourite child. Post continues below...
As her children grow, she becomes smarter and more efficient at this mothering job. Some days she is madly in love with her eldest child, as they seem so mature and helpful, always lending a helping hand. Other days her middle child will just sit and be with her, cuddling on the couch as they watch TV shows together. And finally there are days when she watches her youngest play happily on their own, their imagination spreading its wings.
"Her favourite child has changed and she is starting to think she is a bad mum as her guilt settles in." Photo source: iStock.
She realises she does have a favourite child and that doesn't make her a bad mum. If she is tired, it is her eldest child she is drawn to and loves just that little bit more. If she is feeling excited then her middle child becomes the apple of her eye, always glowing in excitement. If she is feeling grateful, humble for everything she has achieved in her life, her baby makes her heart sing.
The first rule of parenting 101 should be eliminated in the rulebook -- there's nothing wrong with having a favourite child.
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Top Comments
As a Social Worker, I can assure you that there is everything wrong with having a favourite child and letting everyone know about it. Where do I start? Childhood feelings of isolation, not ever feeling good enough, being an outsider, unworthiness. Not to mention sibling rivalry, family bullying etc.
Having a favourite is all about the parent wanting their life to be easier and is selfish. Some children require more work than others and often it is because a child who feels detached from it's primary caregiver becomes more demanding and needy. Parents should just do the work and put in equally to all their children. Children are very vulnerable to parental inattention until aged 7 and often the damage is irreversible, no matter how hard you try later.
you should really lighten up^^ this is nothing but a light hearted story. If you read this as a negative story then you must be a pretty negative person. No need to put down someones creative writing.
Maybe not. But there is definitely something wrong with having one child as the favorite all the time and letting the others know about it. Thats emotional abuse, and no good parent does that to their children.
Read the post properly (that was written very slowly for you so you could understand) - she is simply saying it is ok to like your children differently at different times depending on their mood, behaviour, things that are special about them etc. Comprehension fail much??