“Four bucks for a glass of non-alcoholic drink? It’s literally water and air.”
Whole Foods Market, a healthy supermarket chain in the US, is trying to sell ‘asparagus water’ for $6.
Literally, three pieces of asparagus in a bottle of water. FOR SIX BUCKS.
Sigh. This is where the world is going. A world where we have to pay through the nose for the simplest of things. Where a cup of tea and a piece of toast in a cafe costs a week’s wage. Where you have to sell your car to afford petrol.
Stop it, world. Please stop.
Image: Instagram/Marielle m.n.o.pSome things in life are worth it, of course. And you get what you pay for. And money doesn’t buy happiness. And blah blah blah all the cliché money proverbs etc. Life is expensive, and you have to like it or lump it (or live in a cardboard box and eat free sand).
But these 12 things are just too much. Too much money, too much pretension, and too much profit margin for the seller.
1. Soda water at the bar.
Four bucks for a glass of non-alcoholic drink? It’s literally water and air.
2. Toast in a café.
You just want some cooked bread and some Vegemite. But these days, you’ll pay up to $9. There are up to 24 slices in a loaf of bread. Well played, cafés.
3. Avocado toast.
While we’re on the subject of toast, has anyone else noticed that Smashed Avo is slowly creeping up to $15+? Avocados are about four dollars. Bread is cheap. Come on.
Image via Instagram @locrifa
4. Tea.
In supermarkets, you can buy 100 teabags for $3.50. That’s 3.5 cents a cup. In cafés? $4. That’s a 99% profit margin. Obviously, the teas are getting fancier, but still. Calm down.
5. Eggs and $5 sides.
Eggs themselves are getting more expensive, but if you throw in a hash brown (which is probably worth 50 cents), some bacon (maybe a dollar), and a few mushrooms, you’re looking at one overpriced brunch.
6. House wine.
The whole appeal of drinking the no-name wine at the bar is that it used to be cheap. Now, you might pay nine or ten dollars. Sure, it might be better wine, but after three glasses who cares?
7. Smoothies.
Ahhh, smoothies. They used to be so simple. A kids menu item, even. And now, in all their almond milk, cacao, spirulina, protein powder glory, they cost as much as a meal.
8. Op shops.
We blame the hipsters for this one. You used to be able to buy a second-hand tie (for costumes, or to wrap it in a Hermes box and give it as a gift) for 30 cents. Now that shopping ‘vintage’ is so fashionable, the Salvos ties are $6 minimum, and go up to $15. Ah well, at least it’s a good cause…
9. Corkage.
Expensive wine plus four bucks a head for ‘corkage’. I’ll just use my hip flask, thanks.
10. Activated almonds.
Don’t call anything organic, or you’ll pay triple for it.
11. 600 mL coke.
Sometimes, a smaller bottle of soft drink is MORE EXPENSIVE than a 1.5L bottle. Why? Because you pay for convenience. Dammit.
12. Parmas.
Remember a good $10 parma night at the local pub? Now, it’s $15 on parma night, and $23+ on any other night. But… so… delicious…
And then there’s credit card surcharges, rising EFTPOS minimums, ATM fees, parking meters… We could go on and on. It’s a hard life, and an expensive one at that. But usually, though we grumble, we pay the extortionate amount anyway, because c’est la vie.
Except for the asparagus water. Ain’t nobody buying that.
What are some things you’ve had to give up because they’re just too damn expensive?
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Top Comments
That's because you all choose to live in Sydney - suckers.
The South Coast of NSW has no posers on the beach, no mason jars, no activated almonds and no expensive coffee. It does have great produce, wine, clean air and no wankers. Yay! Enjoy your ridiculously expensive cafes - I pay two thirds what you do for better stuff. Come visit sometime.
I have a mate who begrudges $5 for a bowl of hot chips (Approx 350-400g of beautiful 13mm square prism fries) and another $5 for a schooner of Bock beer.
He forgets that he's in a well furnished four-star waterfront eatery with lovely floor coverings, crisp white tablecloths and five wait-staff, a chef, an under chef and three kitchen hands to serve meals and drinks to about 80-95 people seven nights per week.
To bitch about a $4 small pot of tea or $10 for two poached eggs and a slice of buttered sourdough is to not understand that catering comes with on-costs that your short-sighted thinking does not notice (or recall).
My mate who waxes on about how he can go to Aldi and get two serves of those chips for $2.49 forgets that the restaurant has to run freezers, pay for gas, pay for cooking oil (and replace it regularly), pay to wash the table cloth, run a dishwasher to do the dish/bowl and cutlery and the frying basket, etc.
Sometimes, the other old men at my table would be happy if he stayed home instead of berating us for paying an 'outrageous' $15.50 for four whiting pieces, a serve of chips and a medium salad. "You know, I could do all that four under four bucks?" he says.
I wonder that experts like him are not in the restaurant/cafe game.