'I haven't had a good date in years. A two-week holiday in Europe changed that.'

I’ve been single for three years and haven’t had a standout date for that entire time... until I went to Europe. Then I had three in two weeks.

I think we can all agree on one thing: being single in your 30s can be isolating, especially when all your friends are getting married or having kids it’s easy to feel left behind. Gone are the days when you spend every Saturday night on the dancefloor followed by hungover debriefs in the group chat.

If you’re like me, then your weekends are reserved for catching up on life admin, going to the gym and scrolling on the apps in a robe on your couch. Because let’s be honest – men seldom approach women out and about in the real world.

Watch: Signs you're dating a narcissist. Post continues after video. 

It does go both ways, though. 

When was the last time you went up to someone and asked for their number? I know I don’t because I’ve got hundreds of options, just a swipe away. And whilst some people hate dating apps, I actually like them but… they don’t seem to love me back.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a walk down my dating history, starting with a guy who told me I was a good kisser only to pull away a few seconds later and mutter, "Hmm 4 out of 10."

YES, he stopped mid-kiss to rate me but also assured me that he could "help bring me up to an 8/10".

Another time, I was on a dinner date, and we began to chat about our childhoods. He insisted I show him a photo of the younger version of me and I hesitantly agreed. Growing up, I was on the chubbier side and body image was something I struggled with. 

Knowing this, his first remark was "WOW, you were such a porker. It’s a good thing you go to the gym." I walked away right after that comment.

And if that hasn’t made you cringe, the last guy I matched with invited me on a weekend away but specifically asked me to pay for every single thing. I’m talking groceries, Ubers, petrol, and morning coffees. Hidden agenda, much?

After that, I decided to take a break from dating and enjoy the European adventure that was coming up for me.  

You could say I left Australia with the bar set pretty low. I knew I would meet a lot of people over the next few months but never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be taken out on not one, not two, but THREE incredible dates.

Enter Mr Mysterious:

1. Mr Mysterious

Now there’s a little bit of a backstory to this. 

Mr Mysterious and I matched in July 2021, and we talked for weeks. But because it was peak Sydney lockdown and my flatmate at the time wasn’t comfortable with me going on walking dates, we never met and ended up losing touch.

Fast forward to June 2022 and I decided to jump on Hinge for a late-night scroll and guess who came up? Mr Mysterious.

I commented on one of his photos, "There is NO way you’re in Europe right now." 

He replied: "I am! I actually moved to London a few months ago and I’m currently in Ibiza. Are you coming here?"

As luck would have it, I was heading to Ibiza the following morning and so we decided to finally meet. After all, what are the chances we’d both be in Ibiza over the same weekend together? It kind of felt like the universe wanted us to meet. So, we decided to go to Dom Dolla together. 

When it comes to men, money doesn’t impact my opinion of them (ambition does) BUT let me tell you this guy appeared to be the whole package. 

My friend and I walked into his hotel for pre-drinks, and we were mind blown. It was easily the swankiest hotel I’ve ever set foot in. I’m talking infinity pools, multiple five-star restaurants, stunning interiors and situated right on the waterfront. 

As you can imagine, we were pretty impressed (we later found out the rooms alone cost a minimum of $1K a night), and I didn’t think the night could get better, but when we got to Pacha nightclub, he had managed to pull some strings and get us on the VIP list because his friend knew Dom Dolla. 

What that actually meant was free entry, free drinks and more impressively, getting our own area BEHIND THE DJ BOOTH. Let me just put this into a monetary value for you. The tables sell for 2400 EUROS. That’s just shy of 3500 Aussie dollars.

I was shocked. Here we were, two girls from Australia, and this random guy I’d met online a year ago gave us the best night of the whole trip. And we hadn’t even kissed.

It gets better though.

As the DJ set ended, he offered his hotel room to my friend and I because his flight was leaving in a few hours. We got back to his, he gave us clothes to wear and as he packed we fell asleep on his super king sized bed. 

I woke up the next day to this text:

Not only had he given us his hotel room, but he gave us money for the cab back to our apartment, insisted we utilise the late checkout AND he wanted to see me again in London. 

As we were grabbing breakfast at the buffet (it would be rude not to), we couldn’t quite fathom how we had ended up here. The whole night felt surreal. Something you see on a Netflix special.  

Mr Mysterious and I kept chatting throughout my trip and when I got to London, he booked a cozy Japanese restaurant to celebrate my birthday. As for chemistry? It was even stronger than when we were in Ibiza. You could say that my birthday ended just the way it should’ve – with something sweet, rich, and delicious. 

2. Brown Sugar

Brown sugar and I met on a very drunken night in Hvar. 

I remember seeing a tall dutchman with a Vodka bottle pouring shots and whilst holiday-Alisha thought it was a great idea to have hard spirits poured down her throat, she forgot that normal-Alisha doesn’t drink and therefore has no tolerance. 

Cue my meeting with Brown Sugar who watched me choke as my gag reflex kicked in. Sexy, right?

We got to talking and found out that we had a lot in common – meaning he was from Amsterdam (I was going to Amsterdam) and that we were both in our 30s. Like I said, it was a pretty drunken night, and I didn’t expect to see him again. But the day before I flew into Amsterdam he asked what my plans were for the following evening.

"Not much," I replied. He suggested we get dinner and proceeded to ask me what I was craving. Now at this point in time, I was pretty confused. 

Partly because we’d already spent the night together and traditionally you take a girl out first and then you get more intimate but more so because, during that night, drunken-Alisha proceeded to call him inauthentic…. because he wouldn’t tell me how many girls he’d picked up. 

As I said, I’m surprised he wanted to see me too.

But I’m glad he did because it was a really fun night. We went to a steakhouse (which was delicious) ended up at a waterfront bar and spent hours getting to know each other. 

But the most memorable part? The ride home on his bike. Not a motorbike, not a tandem bike but his OWN bicycle that was designed for just him to ride. Did I mention that I was never taught how to ride a bike? And at this point we’ve had a couple of drinks. 

Picture this: I’m sitting in front of him on his bike (sideways) as he pedals down the streets of Amsterdam where everyone is an aggressive bicyclist. My heart is beating so fast as he reminds me to keep my balance. All I could think about at that moment was this is how I’m going to die. 

Luckily, the only casualty from the ride home were my hoop earrings that fell off somewhere between Centraal and De Pijp. 

I didn’t think I’d hear from him again but he ended up checking in on me every day I was there. See below for proof:

On our final night, he organised for my friend and I to experience Amsterdam nightlife like the locals, took care of both of us the whole night and made sure we got home safe.

The next day he sent me this:

I still can’t help but smile when I read that message because what was meant to be a bit of fun ended up being the reason I fell in love with Amsterdam. 

In the three times we hung out, Brown Sugar treated me better than every guy I’ve ever crossed paths with. He is 100 per cent the type of guy you marry.   

3. McSteamy

I wasn’t meant to go on a date with McSteamy. 

You see, I actually matched with his friend on the apps. But, when I met up with them at the end of another drunken night in Hvar, I was instantly drawn to him. 

He was and still is the definition of my type. Tall, dark, handsome, luscious lips, great smile, fit, gorgeous hair… I can keep going but I won’t.

The chemistry was definitely there, well… it was for me at least. But I had found myself in a bit of a bind. 

As my Hinge match and I walked McSteamy back to his place, I was trying to find a way to let him know he was the one I wanted to go home with.

My playful touching, teasing and eye contact were lost on him though and I ended up going home alone.

Thankfully, I got his Instagram so the next day I took my shot and slid into his DMs. After all, what did I have to lose? A couple of salacious voice notes later, he promised we’d get a drink when I was in London. I was ecstatic. 

The day we caught up I was shopping on the main strip and knowing how lost I got on the tube; he met me at Oxford Circus (what a green flag). I did not know where we were going, just that he was going to give me a personalised tour of London. 

And what a tour it was. You know when everything just lines up perfectly? That’s kinda what happened. Everything flowed naturally. He was smart, funny, and considerate. I was SO attracted to him.  

Listen to The Undone, hosted by Emily Vernem and Lucy Neville. Post continues after audio. 

We walked along the canal and stumbled across food markets. After sharing some snacks, we kept bar hopping and with each drink, the sexual chemistry grew. I remember looking over at him as the sun set on the rooftop bar we were having dinner at and thinking damn, I really wanted to rip his clothes off. But the night was still young and despite us heavily flirting he hadn’t made a move. I couldn’t read him.

A gelato stop and many more drinks later, the bar we were in made the last call. By this stage, we’d been hanging out since 6pm so when he asked me what I wanted to do, I looked up at him, smiled coyly and said, "I’m up for anything".

Little did I think he would suggest we keep drinking at a bar across the road. As I said, I couldn’t read him. I took a deep breath, sighed "sureeeeeee" to which he laughed and replied, "I’ve misread this, haven’t I?"

He sure had. At this point the sexual tension was palpable, so when he finally kissed me, it was electric. His lips tasted every bit as delicious as they looked, and I craved more.

Things escalated pretty quickly but mother nature got in the way, so we couldn’t explore the connection. That aside – it’s the best date I’ve ever had.  

On the flight home, I began to reminisce on every one of the dates I’d had. I couldn’t believe how lucky I got. None of these guys were just looking to sleep with me – each of them wanted to get to know me as a person. It’s been a month since I got back from Europe and if you’re wondering what happened to these guys, well let me give you an update.

McSteamy and I still send voice notes to each other (he lives in Abu Dhabi now). 

Brown Sugar and I face timed just last night and Mr Mysterious… well, he’s a mystery to me. When I was overseas, we got really vulnerable with each other but my attempts at staying in touch have been met with weeklong replies and his ego. 

Then again, he’s not exactly European, he’s an Aussie in Europe and we all know how much Australian men love to share their feelings *insert eye roll here*.

As for me? I’m back on the apps in Australia, but it isn’t the same. 

I miss all three of them. The time each of us shared together was magical in its own way and they each hold a special place in my heart.  

I’ll end with this – last week, I was on a second date with a guy I thought was a little high maintenance but nice. I decided to invite him over to help me build furniture. I planned to cook him a nice dinner as a thank you. Midway through dinner, he told me he had to leave because he was "too buzzed". He had one glass of wine, and it was 9.30pm on a Saturday.

Instead of being upset, all I could think about was how I’d spent 30 minutes using my eyebrow tweezers (don't worry, I sanitised them) to debone the salmon (that he requested) I cooked for us.  

It’s been 10 days since that happened, and he hasn’t reached out. Honestly, I’m not even surprised, but I do know one thing: European men would never. 

Let’s hope the next year flies by because I’m ready to go back to Europe. 

And if I ever get lonely? Well, Abu Dhabi is only a 14-hour flight away...

Feature Image: Instagram @alishabhojwani_.

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