"You will get ghosted." I teach young men about respect. Here's what I tell them about dating apps.

At first glance, Tinder looks like a dream to many young men.

A seemingly limitless stack of single women to sort through, with a simple swipe right for ‘yes’ or left for ‘no’.

But since Tinder burst onto the dating scene in 2012 – followed by numerous similar platforms – few men now consider them exciting or novel.

Watch: The Mamamia team reveal their Tinder stories. Post continues after video.

Men complain about girls being lazy with their profiles and interactions.

Misleading pictures are a common gripe, along with ghosting or cancelled plans.

Despite the complaints, there’s no shortage of young men on them.

Frequent dating app use prompts multiple questions from the young men I work with. Many are frustrated or looking for advice.

Here’s what I tell them.

Choice of dating app doesn’t define what happens.

Forget the idea that Tinder is for hook-ups, Hinge is for relationships and on Bumble women make the first ‘move’.

There’s no shortage of couples who met on Tinder and got married. Plenty of hook-ups happen from Hinge. And don’t pin your hopes on many women asking YOU out on Bumble. 

Whatever direction things go is up to the people meeting, so don’t stress over which app you think does a particular thing.

Don’t half-arse your profile.

Most dudes’ profiles are so similar, some women play drinking games with them.

Man holding a fish? Drink!

Picture of a car? Drink!

“My height is X because apparently that matters.” Drink!

To stand out, you need to put effort in. Have something thoughtful or funny in your bio. Use a variety of pictures; the fewer selfies and group photos, the better.

No one can be bothered with a process of elimination to figure out who you are in group pics.

If you MUST be shirtless, make sure it has context at the beach or pool.

Women get LOTS of attention.

Men can perform many right swipes without a single match.

While women often do multiple left swipes and immediately match after an occasional yes.

There are a lot more men on dating apps than women.

Many of these men are incredibly thirsty/lazy and swipe right on everyone.

Women are often swamped, so some don’t feel the need to put a lot of effort into their profiles or give the impression aren’t trying very hard to interact. 

If you feel she’s not having a proper conversation, back off and save your energy.

The days of swiping right on everyone are over.

Daily limits have put an end to the ‘basic bro’ method of swiping right on every profile.

Unless you’ve paid for unlimited swipes (most guys don’t), you’ll burn most of these on women you’re not interested in.

Even if you buy premium access, swiping right on everyone is a false economy as your match list fills with girls you have no interest in talking with.

And getting results from your precious few swipes takes time.

From every 100, you might get 20 matches. Of those, 10 may talk to you and five might end in a date.

Don’t gibber too long without meeting.

You can spend weeks messaging back and forth with someone who seems like your dream partner.

Only to meet them for five minutes and realise they aren’t for you.

There’s no hard-and-fast rule about when to meet, but you’ll learn more about how you vibe with someone (and if they look like their photos) during a single coffee than during weeks of messaging.

Some dudes think many women are on dating apps for attention and don’t plan to meet anyone.  

But it’s easy to discover someone’s purpose by not taking too long to ask them for a drink or coffee.

If they have concerns about meeting a stranger off an app, you’ll get nowhere pressuring them to meet.

Listen to The Quicky where the hosts discuss the phenomena of dating apps. Post continues after podcast.

You WILL get ghosted.

She might leave you hanging during a conversation that seemed to be going well.

You might set up a date she doesn’t confirm.

Until you’ve met someone and built rapport, you’re just a random guy from a dating app who isn’t her priority.

And if you’ve sent over two unanswered messages, stop.

Throwing a tantrum will get you screenshotted and shared.

Dates will be cancelled. Matches will disappear. Conversations will end midway.

But if you respond by acting like a clown, blowing up her phone or sending dick pics; it won’t be just a game between you and her.

There’s a good chance your antics will get screenshotted and shared in a group chat or to a dating nightmares account on the socials.

Finally

I tell young men to view dating apps as a tool, not a way of life. The worst thing they can do is become reliant on them and unable to start conversations with real-life people they find attractive.

But dating apps don’t mean young men can abandon social skills.

After meeting someone from an app, he still needs to have a proper, human interaction. Hopefully, one he’ll enjoy. 

Max Radcliffe is a young men’s respectful relationships speaker. He works with young men to help them navigate intimate relationships, consent and self-respect, thereby improving the experiences of women they interact with. Max also shares his advice to young men on Instagram: @ maxi.radcliffe.

Feature Image: Supplied/Getty.