By KATE HUNTER
I’m no fan of the death penalty, ever, so I was happy to read drug charges against 35 year-old Australian Emma L’Aiguille in Malaysia had been dropped.
This, from news.com.au on Saturday:
Emma L’Aiguille leaves the Kuala Lumpur prison complex“A VICTORIAN mum who sensationally escaped the death penalty in Malaysia yesterday vowed to devote her second chance at life to her six children.
Emma L’Aiguille’s 115-day nightmare ended when she became the first foreigner to be released from prison without DNA evidence or the forensic report into the drugs being complete.
“I thought I was gone. I didn’t think I’d ever see my family again or that this day would come,” she told the Herald Sun.
“I’m still pinching myself and can’t believe that I am out of jail.”
Prosecutors then dropped her charges on a lack of evidence connecting the mother-of-six to drug trafficking.
After reading that story and seeing this front page:
Nova breakfast presenter and mother of 4, Kate Langbroek used Twitter to voice cynicism about the use of the word ‘mum’ to describe a woman who had chronically neglected and barely ever even parented her children.
Whichever way you look at it, Emma L’Aiguille’s life is sad. It’s been a misassembled puzzle with pieces broken and missing.
Her education was piecemeal. Emma’s first child, Tayla was born when she was 16. Seven more pregnancies followed, fathered by different men. One baby was lost when Emma miscarried at 17 weeks, and another died of cot death aged only one month. Tayla sees to the only child with a relationship with her mother (she’s being raised by her grandmother).
The other children are with their fathers or being cared for by family members. I’m not quite sure – a lot has been written about Emma L’Aiguille’s complicated relationships, but it’s not clear where all her kids are. Which is fine, because it’s none of our business – I just hope they are okay and having a more grounded start to life than Emma had.
Which brings us to those headlines.
Although Emma’s eldest – Tayla – was raised by her grandmother, she sees Emma as her mum and from all accounts is desperate to be re-united with her. But what about the other 5 kids? Has she packed them a school lunch, put them on the potty, sat through a Yo Gabba Gabba video. Okay, even I haven’t done that last one.
But the question is valid – does giving birth make you a mum? Surely there’s more to parenthood than biology. Kate Langbroek thinks so, scoffing at Emma’s claims that she’s a homemaker at heart, she tweeted: ‘”I have to have someone to take care of. I like to stay at home, cook and clean.” Really? Tell that to your SIX abandoned kids…’
Emma D’Aiguille says she’s going to use her freedom to devote herself to her children. Do you think that’s even possible – can a woman suddenly decide it’s time to be ‘mum’?
Do you think that women can just decide to be a mother? Does having kids really make you a mum?
Top Comments
Mothering is both a practice, a doing, and a way of thinking, a constant combination of thinking and doing and hopefully reflecting. In the absence of doing the mothering, I'd argue that you are simply a biological mother... and yet, from Emma's posts she clearly experiences herself as a 'mother' even if a not very able or present mother.
There's a lot of (understandable) blame and finger pointing going on in these posts, but clearly the young woman has major psychological problems, and unless we believe that some women are simply evil, then the only way to understand this with any compassion, is to imagine that her own suffering is the cause.
It's such a huge responsibility to mother! No wonder some women turn to it...then run from it. But let's also consider the fathers: so many men have their masculinity at stake in proving they're not 'shooting blanks', or don't want to wear a rubber because it interferes with their pleasure. It's a discipline to not have children, and that discipline takes two willing people.
I hope her children are loved, whoever it is that is mothering and fathering them.
Mothering is both a practice, a doing, and an attitude, and we can be mothers to children whom we didn't give birth to. In the absence of doing the mothering, I'd argue that you are simply a biological mother... and yet, from Emma's posts she clearly experiences herself as a 'mother' even if a not very able mother. Perhaps the fathers and other carers of the six children feel that they are effectively the childrens' mothers, as they are the ones doing the day to day caring, feeling and thinking that goes in to mothering.
There's a lot of blame and finger pointing going on in these posts, but clearly the young woman has major problems, and unless we believe that some women are simply evil, the only way to understand this with any compassion - for Emma or her children - is to imagine that her own suffering has caused the suffering her children must undoubtedly feel.
It's such a huge responsibility to mother! No wonder some women turn to it...then run from it. But let's also consider the fathers: so many men have their masculinity at stake in proving they're not shooting blanks, or don't want to wear a rubber because it interferes with their pleasure.
For me, the bottom line is I hope the children are being loved and cared for by their fathers and others, and don't feel too abandoned by their biological mother.