What happened to Emma de Silva makes you realise how fragile life can be. Finally there is some hope, and justice for this brave mother.
For Emma de Silva life changed in an instant. One moment she was walking her 19-day-old daughter Eloise, the next an incomprehensible accident.
It was 2011 and the first time she had taken her baby out -she had planned to walk just one kilometer to a nearby park. She was anxious as all new mothers are, those first few weeks a jumble of nerves and a fog of beginnings, but the anxieties of new motherhood could never have anticipated what was about to happen.
Emma and her then-husband Peter had struggled for several years to fall pregnant with Eloise, and now she was born they were adjusting with the daily routine of life with a newborn baby.
Emma took their dog, Pierre and bundled up her baby in her pram for a walk in the Sydney suburb of St Peters.
Moments later her life came tumbling down, not more than 300 metres from her home an out-of-control Lexus sedan swerved on to the footpath and careered into Emma and her baby daughter.
The life of this young mother and school teacher never to be the same again.
Emma survived the crash. Just.
The pram saved her daughter but the 19-day old suffered a broken shoulder and a minor head injury.
Emma was critical.
For eight weeks she was in a coma, her family on knife-edge. Doctors said at the time they did not know what injuries she had received, but that they would be life changing.
Slowly Emma came out of her coma. She spent nearly a year learning to walk and talk again.
She managed to learn to care for her baby daughter, helping feed her and change her when Eloise was brought to her at the rehabilitation centre that was her home for 12 months.
Emma now has significant cognitive delays, and trouble with her speech. She walks with a frame and is cared for by her parents after the breakdown of her marriage that took place shortly after her release from hospital.
Yesterday, however, four years on, there was a small form of justice for Emma with an out-of-court settlement reached with the insurance company of the driver of the car who hit her.
The man who crashed into Emma, Bryce Wayland — aged 26 at the time — was found guilty of negligent driving and issued 50 hours of community service.
On his sentencing Emma’s father Keith said, “I think it’s disgraceful. Our lives are completely shattered and what he has got is probably less than you would normally get for being caught speeding.”
The Downing Centre Local Court accepted his evidence that the accelerator pedal in the car became caught under a floor-mat and jammed.
Yesterday Emma’s father, Keith Freedman who was restricted by revealing the full amount of the compensation by a confidentiality clause said it “was what we were hoping for”.
In their fight for compensation Emma and her family maintained she should be compensated for the loss of 31% of her ex-husband’s estimated lifetime income and a career that now will never occur. Emma had planned on studying her masters and hoped to be a school principal.
She now requires 24-hour care.
For Emma’s family the compensation gives them hope.
“The first thing we hope to do is to get her sorted out and in a house,” he said.
“Hopefully she’ll be able to live reasonably without too much problems.”
And hope she can continue to spend time with her daughter and develop their loving relationship.
Sadly for Emma her marriage breakdown has caused the time spent with her daughter to be cut substantially.
When she first moved in with her parents her father said
“The saddest part is she came here thinking she was going to go home to her husband and baby … it’s hard for us, but it’s much, much harder for her,” he told News Limited.
Eloise turns four this month. Emma told Nine News that her daughter is amazing.
For Emma’s father the memory of what could have been remains.
“Emma was at the height of happiness,” he said
“She had just had a baby, she had a husband she adored and they had just renovated their house in St Peters and everything was perfect for her … It lasted exactly 19 days.”
You can follow Emma’s journey at the Emma de Silva Foundation.
Top Comments
This is so tragic. I feel terribly sad for everyone involved, including Emma's husband, Peter. I just can't get over the judgement of the comments so far. How can anyone pass judgement on such an awful situation? Those that are struggling with their harsh thoughts and judgements on the poor man really need to ponder it a bit more. Look at the photos. The woman Peter married and was in love with is gone. Not only that, he would be giving up so much of himself to look after Emma with her significant special needs. Intimacy, sex, those lovely moments where you feel so blessed that you've found that someone who 'gets' you. Not to mention the sheer exhaustion of all the practicalities (is she continent for instance?) Just imagine it for a moment. That person who now looks at you in a completely different way. Again, just so tragic! I'm positive he didn't make the decision lightly and I'm positive he is still grieving and will for the rest of his life.
I should tell you now, this is coming from someone who has an inkling of what he is going through. My partner had a stroke which left him paralysed one side. While he is independent and wasn't left with the cognitive problems poor Emma has, life is fucking hard. I feel like chucking it all in sometimes. Though he did escape the cognitive delays, he has definitely lost the spark he once had and is A LOT slower, making mistakes with things all the time. Putting things in the wrong spot. I have to do pretty much everything around the house and with my kids because he gets incredibly tired looking after the kids even for a couple of hours. I'm am ALWAYS feeling guilty because the resentment I feel sometimes and because I don't love him anymore and counsellors (specific to carers) tell me that all the bitterness resentment is normal and that often it's the carer who suffers more than the person who has suffered the head injury (often because they are unaware) You honestly can't imagine it but for all those who have judged so harshly, you have to try.
I'm not condoning Peter's decision to separate from Emma but I understand it. And i would even say it's the best for their daughter. Unless you are 100% committed to looking after that someone with special needs, living together - being together - will do more harm than good for everyone involved - and that's what I'm struggling with in my own situation, frankly.
And for those citing examples of the amazing people who do change their role from partner to carer, I'd imagine that is more the exception than the rule. My experience (my partner was in rehabilitation for over a year too) was that people of the significantly disabled left their partners. It's so much more complicated than being someone 'who just wants the good times' as someone suggested below.
Why couldn't he pull the hand brake on?