When Katherine* and her husband chose to get the Lucky Few tattoo to celebrate their son, they thought it would be a deeply personal experience for the two of them.
The Lucky Few tattoo – which comprises of three arrows stacked on top of one another – is inspired by the book The Lucky Few: Finding God’s Best in the Most Unlikely Places, about a mother who adopted three children, two of whom have Down syndrome.
For many mums, the three arrows are a powerful symbol of the genetic condition, also known as trisomy 21, because people with Down syndrome have three copies of their 21st chromosome, instead of two.
The concept recently went viral, with people on social media sharing photos of their tattoo and the story behind it.
With her son about to turn 21, Katherine and her husband wanted to celebrate their time of “parenting a pretty awesome human”.
“[The tattoo] really appealed to me in its simplicity but powerful meaning as I indeed do feel lucky to be part of this amazing community of families living with Down syndrome,” she told Mamamia.
A few months later, however, Katherine received a message from her mother-in-law, Marie*, saying she was planning on getting the same tattoo.
While Katherine’s husband tried to explain that the tattoo was meant to be “something special” between the two of them, Marie insisted that it would be her way of honouring her special grandson.
Surprised by her own reaction, Katherine told Mamamia that “rather than seeing it as a sign of support, I feel like she hasn’t put in the ‘work’ to deserve the tattoo”.
“I don’t know if that’s just selfish on my part,” she said, “but I that’s how I feel.”
Listen to Vanessa Cranfield’s raw description of raising her daughter Gretel, who has Down syndrome, on No Filter. Post continues after audio.
According to Katherine, Marie lives in a different state, and doesn’t contact her grandson often. She originally contacted Mamamia asking for advice about what she should do, and to ask whether there’s any point trying to talk her mother-in-law out of her decision.
While some were adamant that Katherine can’t change her mother-in-law’s actions, one reader had a very creative idea: “If she gets the tattoo, as much as I’d be annoyed too, in the long run it’s not worth the angst. After she gets it, go with your husband and just add another simple touch, to make yours different but links you as parents and never mention it.”
Others suggested the parents encourage Marie to look for another tattoo style to honour her grandson. “Maybe to keep yours special and distinct, you could send her some really pretty ‘grandparent’ variations of the tattoo?” said one reader.
In a post on The Mighty, people whose lives have been touched with Down syndrome shared a number of ideas for how their experience could be expressed.
One person, named George K, said, “My son Luka born with Down syndrome on 9/14/12. Down syndrome is three copies of your 21st chromosome, or Trisomy 21. ‘Omne trium perfection’ means all things that come in threes are perfect.”
Another popular symbol is the Down syndrome ribbon, used to raise awareness for the genetic condition.
What advice would you give to Katherine? Should she let her mother-in-law get the Lucky Few tattoo? Or encourage her to choose something different?
*Names have been changed to protect anonymity.
Top Comments
I would be upset too, she is intruding on your tribute to your son. It says more about her though - probably never had an original idea in her life!
I would get some small addition that distinguishes it from hers. Ultimately, you cant stop her if she insists. Its too bad that she doesnt respect her son enough to honor his wishes. I would NOT tell her that she did not earn it. I would tell her that you appreciate that she wants to honor your son, that you would prefer her to get another tattoo but no matter what she does, end it at that. Maybe put something personal on it like your husbands initial, your sons initial and then your initial. It makes it deeply personal, it keeps with the 3, its something that even if she was ridiculous enough to copy, she will never be part of that 3.