Since his election in late 2016, there’s been a sneaking suspicion that US President Donald Trump a little bit thinks he’s in a TV show.
Which is fine. Except that it’s not. At all.
But on Tuesday, the presidency started to look a little less like an unnecessary and very high stakes season of The Apprentice, and more like the most recent episode of Game of Thrones.
Listen: The awkward moment when Donald Trump still thinks he’s on The Apprentice. Post continues after audio.
During a briefing from his New Jersey golf course on Tuesday, the president warned,“North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States”.
Never mind that the briefing was supposed to be about the problem of opioid addiction in the US. Never mind that Trump is now inexplicably running the country from his golf course.
Never mind that. Because it was his next sentence that made it clear that the president is now literally taking foreign policy advice from Daenerys Targaryen.
“They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen,” he said.
"[Kim Jong Un] has been very threatening beyond a normal state. They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before."
Oh honey, no. That's not... that's not a strategic political threat. That's... that's just a recap of what happened on Game of Thrones.
Within hours of Trump's 'threat', North Korea's military threatened a missile strike on the US Pacific territory of Guam, which is frighteningly close to Australia.
A statement on behalf of the Korean People's Army said the plan to strike Guam could be executed at "any moment," given the approval of North Korea's leader. The US Secretary of Defence James Mattis has previously said a military solution in North Korea would be "tragic on an unbelievable scale".
Unsurprisingly, Trump's Game of Thrones inspired threat has been widely condemned. But there are a few things we feel we need to explain to the president at this sensitive time.
1. Sweetie, there is no iron throne.
It's not real. Game of Thrones is a fictional show set in a fictional place with fictional characters and fictional conflicts. There is no such thing as a ruler of the seven kingdoms. THERE ARE NO KINGDOMS.
2. You don't... you don't own a dragon.
... Do you?
Oh my God. I think he might actually own a dragon.
3. You can't take foreign policy advice from TV shows.
Real life is very different from your stories.
Kim Jong Un has lots of weapons you don't understand, and they can't be fought with your make-believe dragon. Also, people can't come back to life like Jon Snow, and there are no prophecies or Three Eyed Raven's or Melisandre.
I'm sorry.
4. If you were a Game of Thrones character, you are obviously Theon, not Daenerys.
Pls, Donald. You know this.
5. You need to do less of the watching of the TV, and more of the running of the country. And maybe... maybe it's time to go back to the White House.
I know how fun it is to watch Game of Thrones curled up in bed while immersing yourself in a make-believe world with magic and fantasy and most importantly Jon Snow. Believe me, I do. But Donald, mate, I feel like when you signed up to be president you a little bit agreed to sort out big, real matters while the rest of us watch Game of Thrones.
I also feel like you're playing a lot of golf right now.
No more Game of Thrones. No more dragons. And no more... just... no more.
Top Comments
The shockwaves from simultaneously launching all those ICBMs might actually be enough to blow his combover back
I find this article very flippant considering the dire situation that it's referring to
Well the alternative, if we are going to be serious, is that a boastful, dishonest, spray-tanned, comb-overed reality TV star with grandiose narcissicism, and an inability to speak in sentences exceeding 140 characters or understand history or diplomacy or foreign relations has his finger on the button. And he's said feuding with a delusional, paranoid manbaby with a God complex we may as well make fun because the alternative is to run screaming into the nuclear sunset....
Well said!!!