Mothers are the most judgemental people in the world. I was surfing one of my favourite sites, Celebrity Baby Blog a few weeks ago. One of the reasons I love it is because it just posts brief information and lovely big pictures of famous people and their kids. No editorialising. It’s utterly opinion-neutral.
But the comments? Oh the comments are judgemental.
On a photo of Celine Dion and her husband and son, came this warning
from the site moderator “We will not be posting comments about Renee
Charles’ hair.”
You see, the boy’s hair is long. Very long. So long
that admittedly, I’d found myself thinking ‘How ridiculous is that child’s hair!”
And this, underneath a photo of Suri Cruise being carried in New York
by her mother Katie Holmes: “We will not be posting comments about
Suri’s bottle”. This one had me a bit stumped. Her bottle? I did a
search on previous photos of Suri from the site and found a heated,
aggressive debate about the fact the two year old was “still using a
bottle at HER age.” Her age? Two? Is that too old for a bottle?
Read the rest of this post at Essential Baby here….
Top Comments
Feylabel, I wasnt criticising, just saying what worked for me. You are lucky your baby slept in a pram. Many dont. Mine never did. Visit any Westfield during the daytime witching hour between 12 & 1pm and you will see and hear what I mean. Prams with screaming and crying babies and toddlers everywhere with stressed out mums. I feel sorry for them, but on the other hand cant help but think 'why arent those poor little things at home in bed?' .....
Each to their own, happy parenting
Yes Lu, I am perfectly aware of the 24/7 nature of mothering - as a sole parent, Im probably more aware then many!
And I am not criticising the use of child care, or judging women for needing it.
What I am criticising is the dominant pardaigm, which seems to say that it is OK for know it all mums to judge and criticise other mums for using differing methods!
It is difficult enough for new mothers to adjust, without being told that they have to stay at home all day, or risk destroying their childs sleep, spoiling their child, turning their child into a monster, dragging their child around, etc. This leads to parenting through guilt instead of instinct. The fact is, this world is full of many different styles of successful parenting - what works for you is great for you, dont judge or make any other mother feel guilty cause it doesnt work for them.
I remember after baby group, and playgroup - at first I too thought I had to rush home by 11am to feed my child and get him into bed (where he only ever had a short sleep anyway) All us mums would be stuck at home alone with baby for most of the day, doing housework.
Then some of us declared a revolution and started teaching ours bubs to sleep in the pram, while we spent afternoons sitting in cafes, socialising, surrounded by sleeping babies.
There were, of course, many other mums who loudly dissaproved, and judged, before rushing home for nap time. This is the bit I object to. post natal depression is real, and easily triggered by feeling giulty and inadequate in your parenting. Nobody has the right to criticise a mum who is just doing the best she can - and the old adage goes, a happy mum, a happy child.
Now, my kid is resilient, and flexible, and has no trouble sleeping wherever we are, meaning, we get to travel!
cheers and happy parenting