by MONTY DIAMOND
Is it ever appropriate to tell off someone else’s child? This was the question I asked myself this week.
I witnessed a really uncomfortable situation involving a child being berated by someone who was not his parent. Then, only a few days later, I was shocked to find myself scolding a mini-human that did not belong to me.
The first situation took place in a lingerie shop. A little boy, about three years old, was making friends with a mannequin and her pretty lacy bra, while his mum perused the store. He was pulling and poking at things and having a jolly good old time. When the sales assistant spotted the boy she tersely yelled at him across the shop, “We don’t touch that, little boy”. He promptly recoiled his hands and started to cry.
His mother walked over to him while firmly informing the sales assistant not to discipline her child. The altercation quickly escalated into a ‘yell off’ between the women over the little boy’s curiosity for mannequin breasticles.
After flinging insults at each other for a couple of minutes, the mother stormed out of the store with her son dragging behind her. I crept out from behind the ‘Loveable’ underwear range (which provided a perfect hiding/viewing place) and walked out of the shop… sans new bra.
I felt a bit icky about the whole thing. It’s fair enough the sales assistant didn’t want the kid to play with her display, but did that give her the right to tell him off? Surely the right thing to do was simply to alert his mother and let her handle it? What sort of a grumpster yells at a kid just for touching something?!
A few days after witnessing The Great Battle of Victoria Secrets, I walked straight into another awkward scenario however this time I was the grumpster.
It happened at a friend’s place. While my little boy was lying on the floor sucking on his feet (gifted child), my friend’s little boy was playing near him. All of a sudden a high-pitched screech of pain left my baby’s mouth. I bolted over to the scene of the crime. My friend’s little boy looked up at me with a block in his hand and a look on his face that screamed GUILTY.
I glared down at him and said in an angry and raised voice “WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?” I scooped up my son but immediately began to feel uncomfortable that I had just told off my friend’s child. Luckily, my friend was more concerned about my baby than anything else and we both proceeded to apologise profusely to each other.
On the drive home that night, I was shocked to realise this wasn’t the first time I had gotten a bit lippy with other peoples’ children. There was the time I was at the movies and a kid sitting behind me decided to play ‘Fruit Ninja’ on his iPhone… he copped it.
Then there was the time I was nannying for a family and their little darling announced in the supermarket at the top of her voice, “You’re just like my Mum… but fatter”. …I gained immense pleasure in denying her a snickers bar.
Then there was the time last week when the next door neighbour’s daughter decided to blast One Direction at 8am on Sunday morning. I’m into Harry and Niall as much as the next kid, just not while I’m eating my breakkie eggs. I’m pretty sure I am now referred to as ‘that crazy woman who lives in our street’.
They say it takes a village to raise a child…
Well surely not all the children in that village were perfect little angels all the time? Are we so protective of our offspring that we won’t allow any other adult to help them learn the difference between right and wrong?
Surely it’s not a big deal to discipline other peoples’ children, unless of course the child in question is yours, and the other people ….. is you.
Katie “Monty” Dimond is a broadcaster and media personality. She has appeared on Channel Ten, Channel Nine, and Nova FM. She is currently busy being a full time Mum and loving it!
Have you ever told off someone else’s child? HAVE YOU WANTED TO?
You can read this guide to dealing with someone else’s kid over at our sister site, iVillage.
Top Comments
I never usually tell other peoples kids off but after spending this summer at our new chalet park I felt I have HAD to as the parents weren't doing it so someone had to...
Today a little boy from the chalet opposite kept coming over and making barking noises at my dog and setting him off , before this my dog was curled up beside me having a nap and he is an anxious dog at the best of times so I told the boy not to do it as it's ''too noisy when the dog is barking'' ... did he listen? NO he kept coming over time and time again ( with his Mum watching but not doing a thing ) and making barking sounds at my dog to GET him to bark as he was getting some pleasure out of it it seems but my dog ( and me and my Grandson with special needs ) were just getting wound up UNNECESSARILY and we were meant to be on holiday , relaxing together , plus the privacy factor , we did not invite the boy over to erm 'play' with the dog or us and I am sure the Mum could tell he was becoming a nuisance after the umpteenth time he did it but obviously not and I ended up slamming my front door shut so that she got the message her son was disturbing us and everyone else as my dogs barking was disturbing everyone but it was not my or my dogs fault!!!
I also had to tell off the neighbours girls for pushing my Grandson on his trike as he can control his special needs trike himself and I did not want him going too fast on it and crashing into the speed barriers , told her 3 times but she still did not listen and then sat in his basket which is not meant for the weight of older children and made him ride it with her in it and then was generally bossing him about and telling him what to do when he just wanted to simply do his own thing and ride his trike up and down like he usually does in peace , by then the girls Mum was firing darts at me and looks like she hates me now but I don't want the peace of mind of my Grandson who has enough going on with his disability ( which they are aware of ) disturbed , plus mine as her girls walk into my chalet UNINVITED etc which my Grandson would never do and they bug us A LOT because our door is open in the summer for air and I don't mind a bit of interaction but they need to know when to give a family some SPACE especially when I did not even invite them in etc etc and I do need SOME privacy and if not just walking into the chalet they are yelling out for us at the door or peering in with their faces at the window!! LOL
It seems to me there is no point even in telling other peoples kids off as THEY DON'T LISTEN anyway and it takes drastic measures like slamming your door shut to make it stop!!!
Or ending up raising your voice coz you've had enough of it all day long and the kid/s aint listening and then have the parents hate your guts , but although I felt a bit guilty I don't care as the parents should realise when their little luvvies are becoming an actual NUISANCE and living in such close proximity to each other makes it WORSE and I have noticed a lot of the chalet owners have actually gone to the expense of moving their front doors to the side of the chalet for more privacy ( and I can see why now and don't blame them!! lol )
Have I yelled at other peoples' kids? In my house, or if it concerns me, my kids or the safety of others, yes, I have been expressive. I have also stood up for my children's friends when their parents were nowhere in sight.
My kids are 10 and 13 now. I have had their friends over at our house regularly for the last 3 years. I had to make a rule: do not arrive before 4:30PM on school days. It took a year before my son's friend adhered to my rule. This friend has broken door handles and my storm door closer. I am a divorced mom, so there's no other adult in the household to share parenting responsibilities. I try to allow the kids over, but sometimes they are so loud, and fight (wrestle) on the trampoline. I warn them and watch them, then one gets hurt. Usually the one child knows he had a part, and he just leaves. The other friend has hurt kids, then turned around and made amends with who he hurt. Now this kid told his father I had yelled at him, or spoke harshly to him, at some point, though it has not been recently (my son has told me he the friend is intimidated by me). However, the friend just came to my son's party and brought his overnight bag only 2 weeks ago.
This friend hardly ever has my son at his own home (two parent household with other little ones). My son said he does not like to go to their house anyways. Their son is not exactly a barrel of sunshine, and I believe I have been kind in having their son at our home, it gives them a break. I have given the kids rides home after the weekly youth group, while the friends' parents enjoy the convenience. It is "convenient" that the friend never disclosed the details of his behavior at our house (wrestling, not listening, hurting others). I have anxiety and mood disorders, I work, and I set limits so I do not get overwhelmed. I'm considering not allowing kids like this back over, even when their parents decide it is "ok" and convenient for them to return to our house.
I hear what you are saying , it seems to me when I am too kind or nice to other peoples kids it always backfires on me , am learning I am too kind or nice for my own good!!! Lol
We end up being the ''baddies'' when we haven't even done anything WRONG and can even feel like we HAVE , it is ridiculous and I would NOT have that boy back in my house to be honest!