Harriet* writes….
“I have an 18 month old son, and have been part of a lovely mother’s group for over a year. The group has 3 other mums, each of whom have 1 or 2 children. So when we get together its a busy time. We usually go to another mum’s house as she has a nice play room and lots of space, but we’ve decided to share the hosting duties.Without being a clean freak or autocrat, I have always fed my son in his highchair, or at least sitting on a chair. Once he is finished, his hands are wiped and he goes off to play. He doesn’t walk around snacking. It’s just never been an option and perhaps I’m just lucky that he accepts this so easily. However, none of the other 3 mums make their children sit at a table or highchair to eat their food when we are together. The toddlers and 3/4 year olds wander with crackers, juice, banana, strawberries (!!!), sultanas, and all manner of other food.
I’ve seen sticky fingers touch every part of her house, not to mention the crumbs and mess that ends up on the floor at the end of the hour.
So here is my dilemma. What happens when the playgroup comes to my house. Can I ask parents to feed their children at the table, or do I have to allow the children to drop food and put dirty hands all over my house? I have a very modest house at best, but no matter whether it’s a mansion or a shack, I think children walking around while eating is the height of bad manners, whether the child is 10 months or 10 years old. While it is each parents’ right to decide what happens in their own house, I think this ‘free reign’ in someone else’s house is very rude.
I know there are bigger issues facing parents today, but I just wonder why basic manners such as this have not been enforced from babyhood. Do I bring it up with my mother’s group, or just let them ‘walk and snack’ or do I not volunteer to host at my house?”
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Top Comments
Some of the comments here surprise me.
I have the same rule at my house and I just gently explain that we have a rule that we eat at the table (with placemats too!) and not in the lounge room. I dont see this as being a clean freak - I had no problems when my mother's group would visit and it meant an hour's worth of toy tidying afterwards. The rule only applies to food or drink. And my whole mother's group (8 mums) had the same rules at both their houses and at our playgroup. We all saw it as a way of teaching basic manners to our children.
Maybe this comes from having been married to a carpet cleaner for 15 years - I knew exactly what would and would not come out of carpet!
You should totally set the rules in your own house. I wish I did. I remember a friend coming over with her little ones a while ago and they ate and then spread mess all over my couch and carpet. And then she washed their hands only when they were leaving so they wouldn't mess up her car!!! So rude.