By MAMAMIA TEAM
When a relationship breaks down, it’s consequences can be far reaching. And those who are affected more than anyone else, are undoubtedly, the children.
Most couples choose to share custody of their children, finding a way – often with the help if the courts – to split up caring arrangements in a fair and workable way.
But how many parents would want to simply split up the children so that sharing was no longer an issue. If given the opportunity, how many parents would willingly be parted from one of their kids forever in order to have full custody of another child?
Well, these two men have done just that.
David Tutera (an American celebrity wedding planner, who organised Jennifer Lopez’s wedding) and his partner of ten years Ryan Jurica have parted ways. And after a nasty custody battle, a judge has allowed the couple to separate their children along biological lines.
It’s like a real-life version of The Parent Trap, only instead of Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardon it’s two gay dads. And instead of Lindsay Lohan playing both twins, it’s two real babies who are biological half siblings.
Tutera and Jurica married in 2003, but say that the last six years of their relationship were strained.
In an effort to cement their relationship and recommit, the pair decided to have children.
They hoped that having a family would fix things – like many couples do.
In 2012, each man fertilised an egg from the same woman – and then implanted both eggs into the same surrogate.
The pair split six weeks after the twins had been conceived at the beginning of this year – on New Year’s Day, no less – and six months later their children were born.
Tutera has a biological daughter, Cleo. Jurica has a biological son, Cedric.
And their arrangement for sharing time with the fraternal siblings? Tutera will take his biological daughter, and Jurica will take his biological son. They’re planning on raising their children on the opposite sides of the country: Connecticut and California.
Tutera has said that he “absolutely” wants the children to have a relationship with each other – but “that can’t happen until the environment is calm and peaceful”. That is, until Tutera and Jurica have reconciled some of their differences.
“I have no right to not have them know each other, but I can protect my daughter about when that time is the right time,” Tutera said in an interview with The View.
He continued, “I have always wanted to be a dad. That was really important to me,” he added. “And I’ve always wanted the fairy-tale life of being in a relationship. I fell in love with Ryan. I still love Ryan. That is a very true fact.”
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that lasting love will be enough to allow their kids to see each other anytime soon.
Back in May, Jurica claimed that Tutera was a sex addict (which the wedding planner vehemently denied), and has this month told gossip website TMZ that it was Tutera’s decision so split the children up – and that he would much rather keep them together.
Divorces can be bitter, difficult, and damaging – but hopefully this process won’t, in the long term, damage the relationship between the two siblings. At the moment, nobody wins. And everybody loses; especially those kids.
Do you think the judge made the right decision?
Top Comments
Personally what is the problem!! I have 3 children, my oldest lives with the father for the past 12months, up until than lived with me solo. My other two children (different father) have four other half siblings that three live with their bio-mother in same state as we live and the other one with my ex and new wife in another country. My two children know they have half siblings but have not seen them in many years and may not until they are grown and go looking for them. This is no different to any other split where a parent walks away, regardless of if they have the child or not. Some parents can get along and others can not plan and simple.. I just hope that both the fathers do not bad mouth the other or the mother (who has been forgotten here, as the children will one day what to meet her too), this would damage them way more than just being apart.
The babies are half brother and sister (shared mother with different fathers) and they have never known each other, so it's not as bad as it seems.