Free passes are a thing. A big thing.
No, not celebrity free passes, which are for all those times Ryan Gosling declares his undying love for you, or Scarlett Johansson is infatuated with your boyfriend.
Free passes to cheat with anyone are apparently a thing.
18% of of the 1,000 men and women surveyed by OnePulse in London would willingly allow their partner to sleep with someone else.
7% would actually suggest it.
(Which would be welcomed by 21% of participants, who would happily use the opportunity to get their rocks off with someone else.)
This survey shows two things:
First off, it shows how important sex really is in a relationship.
‘Permission’ to cheat aside, the survey found 30% of married people would break up with their partner if they no longer wanted to sleep with that person. 42% of those in relationships (but not married) would do the same thing.
Second off, the survey shows how delusional idealistic our minds can be.
The key here is the ‘permission’. As if, by allowing our partner to have “sexual relations with that woman”, we are still in control of the situation.
As if, by having the discussion, and granting or receiving a free pass, we are empowered – not jealous, or selfish. We’d also probably feel self-righteous, right? Because we’re problem solving (or distracting each other) and being “open-minded” (or in denial) in order to save the relationship.
Until of course, the night comes when you’re home alone, eating ice cream, in your pyjamas thinking of him or her out there dancing, laughing, flirting, doing whatever they can to use that free pass… Then I’m not sure if the ’empowerment’ would feel so liberating, or how good you’d feel about doing what you needed to do to save the relationship.
But I could be wrong. Maybe you’d also be out, and doing whatever you can to use that free pass as well.
IS THIS REAL LIFE!?
Wouldn’t it be nicer if it wasn’t necessary? And you could do all that dancing, laughing, flirting and sex with the person you are committed to? No passes needed (unless it’s for Gosling, of course!)
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Top Comments
I had this talk with my husband of 12 years. I've recently been diagnosed with a serious illness, I'm anticipating lengthy chemo will not do much for my sex drive. He says sex is not a priority for him. He says he won't be needing his free pass. He says sex with another person is the most distant thing in his mind. I love my husband but cancer hasn't made me feel sexy, he understands I know he does. Our priority is our children and each other, I know we're on the same page there. But I wanted him to know I don't feel like sex, glaringly obvious under the circumstances but truth is I don't know when I ever will. So, I've asked for safety, discreetness, common sense etc. IF he ever does. He assures me it's not on the cards but I've put it out there just in case. I feel ok with it, guess I recognise he may have some unmet needs in the future.
M heart aches for you.. You are showing bravery and maturity given your situation. All the best. I have sometimes wanted to offer this in my two long term relationships. However, I did not have cancer or chemo to offer as an excuse. Just a really low sex drive which is not so acceptable.
The only free pass hubby will EVER get is his ONE celebrity.......I'm comfortable with that, because it will never happen ;)