Oh.
Oh, yes. Hi there.
We hope you’re reading this comfortably from your bed or lounge after a decent sleep in and an indulgent breakfast.
How’s that Netflix binge coming along… did you enjoy those shows we recommended?
We noticed you absent from your desk today. From our own desks. Where we are sitting.
Because we came to work today because we are upstanding employees who don’t call in sick on a day that is so f*cking obvious.
Image via Giphy.
We know you got really drunk yesterday. WE KNOW.
Where you at, boo?
Sudden food poisoning? Did you scoff an off snag at yesterday's barbie?
Is it a "Migraine" even though you had a "quiet one"?
Maybe grandpa is sick... but that's weird... because you don't have a grandpa.
You.
Are.
A.
LIAR.
We don't mean to throw around accusations, but you are most definitely napping and we're not happy. Because we feel like suckers.
Deep down, we admire you.
It takes some serious cajones to take the most obvious day of the year off. Just in case, here's a link to a lil known website titled 'www.seek.com.au'.
We have to ask, do you feel bad or are you too cooked to care?
Did you plan this and are you currently halfway to your AirBnB in Byron? Well played, friend.
Did you enjoy listening to the Hottest 100, sinking unlimited bevvies, knowing you'd have today off? Did you? Post continues below...
Just know, that while you're lying there, laughing at those of use who showed up on four hours sleep, dehydrated and looking 10 years older than we actually are, you - AND YOU ALONE - are costing the economy more than $50 million.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, AUSTRALIA.
Good luck getting a doctors certificate for Monday. But not really.
Top Comments
I really don't understand why people don't take it as legit annual leave. I put in a leave form for 2 (work) days, and had a 5-day looong weekend. Much easier and stress-free than chucking a sickie.
If you wanted to take a day off, organise it ahead of time. Plan your long weekends. It's not hard. Don't expect others to cover up the slack you create by faking a sickie. You're also making it harder for those who are genuinely sick - needing to provide medical certificates for just one day off, etc.