Last week, a wonderful woman I’ve known for many years died.
Her name was Jackie Milijash and she died unexpectedly of what appears to be an accidental painkiller overdose after back surgery, leaving everyone who knew her and loved her in shock.
It was a tragic outcome for a woman who deserved so much better.
Jackie was many things. A character. An icon of the Sydney hospitality scene. A pioneer. A restauranteur. She revolutionised the cafe and beach culture scene.
She was a legend.
Yet despite being all those things, she was repeatedly referred to in media headlines and stories reporting her death as a “Sydney Socialite”.
As in, “Sydney Socialite’s shock death.”
What a sexist and insulting garbage description is that.
Jackie Milijash was a business woman and an entrepreneur. The word ‘socialite’ implies someone who flits across red carpets with a champagne flute in one hand, posing for photographs. It implies someone who doesn’t need to work or chose to work. It implies someone who lives on the social pages of newspapers if those things even exist anymore.
The media also kept mentioning that she once dated James Packer. I saw that in headlines. “James Packer’s former socialite girlfriend found dead.” I’ve known Jackie for decades and I never knew that about her and who cares because someone’s ex boyfriend when they were 20 is never the most significant thing about them. And it certainly doesn’t make them a ‘socialite’. Have you ever heard a man described by who he used to date? Is this 1916?
Watch: Businesswoman and ModelCo CEO Shelley Barrett discusses her professional accomplishments. (Post continues after video.)
In the scheme of things, a word may not seem like it matters. A woman died. That’s what’s important. But I’m calling bullshit on that. Because words do matter. And the word ‘socialite’ is not ever used in a complimentary way. It’s used to diminish and dismiss the accomplishments of women. To make them seem stupid and superficial and vacuous.
Jackie was none of those things.
Neither is Roxy Jacenko, another business woman who is often described as a ‘socialite’ by a sneering media who are clearly uncomfortable with her success born of hard bloody work. Just like a man, right? Having a public profile or dating a famous man does not make a woman a socialite.
It’s possible for women to do either – or both – of those things and still be a business woman, like Roxy and Jackie.
Click through to see the Jacenko-Curtis family on Instagram. Post continues after gallery…
The Jacenko-Curtis family.
Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko Image via Instagram @RoxyJacenko
What’s the word for a male socialite? Oh, there isn’t one. Because it’s a gendered word used to put women in their place.
The word ‘Mummy’ is frequently used in the same way. Anyone other than your kid who uses that word to describe you, I find, is generally very insecure. And they’re being a twat. Mummy Blogger, Mumpreneur… in most cases a more accurate descriptor is ‘business woman’. Or just ‘entrepreneur’. Use it.
So why this reluctance to call women what we actually are? Is our presence in the world, our success, so threatening to a group of people that they must try to take that power away and big themselves up by using dumb words to describe us?
Top Comments
Mia, there is a reason I don't read your blog, I am simply here to find an non-mainstream article for my homework. Your view on this is so warped and corrupt. I am by no means ridiculing the work of Jackie, but if she is most notably known as the ex-partner of James Packer, and not for her business skills, than that is why she is refered to as such. I for one had never heard of her, but yet again I don't keep up with the precocious Northern Beaches social circle; this is why Packer is mentioned, in order to bring attention to the reader. Is it unfortunate that Jackie wasn't Nationally noted for her work, yes, but there are plenty of hardworking women who will not get there deaths published on this scale. Just a bit of perspective for you.
Beautiful Jackie and Roxy are two of the hardest working women i have ever met. They both deserve their success - they are talented, work hard, and have taken risks. We will all miss Jackie and wish Roxy much love.